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Julie Sanders

Julie Sanders

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January 23, 2012 ·

Marriage Mondays: How do you do w/mess?

Christian lifestyle· Friendship· Marriage Encouragement· Relationships· Sin· Stress

What makes you hard to live with? Are you afraid to go there? Even more afraid to ask someone else? It’s not easy to face our “ugly spots;” we tend to want to cover up or stuff them. Real love doesn’t back away from a mess.

Ignore the messy closet,
Photo credit Flickr ~ Grace and Lily

I’ve been stuffing for the last six years.  In my closet. It’s one of the ways I get a lot done. 🙂 It’s part of the “messy” in my Life Off Line. I just “stuff it” in there to deal with later. You can imagine where that got me! And can I say here that I fully intended to take a picture and show you, but it didn’t happen, because …

My Jeff really loves me, and he knew I needed help with my mess. He took his Saturday afternoon to tackle my mess. First he told me to keep in mind that anything to follow wasn’t personal, a reflection on my worth as a person (he had a trash bag in hand), or his love for me. 🙂 You may remember that when he helped with my pantry, I didn’t respond with total grace. :/  So while I grabbed a Diet Dr. Pepper, he started emptying my vault. My first thought:  “Wow! I can pack a lot of stuff in a closet!”

It’s hard enough to call a mess what it is, whether it’s a closet, a habit, or a circumstance we’ve made, but it’s harder to tackle  the mountain alone. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not a candidate for “Hoarders,” but that might only be because Jeff doesn’t back off from a mess. A working friend is a blessing, and in marriage a spouse that will get dirty and make our mess their own is truly a gift. It’s a timeless truth that, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor” (Eccl. 4:9). 

  • Knowing we have to tackle a mess alone often keeps us from tackling it at all. 
  • Our husbands are blessed when we allow them the privilege of meeting a need, lifting our load, and being our knight in shining closet organization. 
  • They are helped when we come alongside them to help tackle their mountains with an attitude of humility and love, instead of criticism or belittling. 
  • They don’t want to see us standing in front of them with a trash bag in hand and a glimmer in our eye!

My closet wasn’t my only mess, but it was a big one. I’ll bet you have a mess somewhere. It may not be the shape of a closet. It may be habit-shaped or attitude-shaped or heart-shaped; whatever the shape of your mess or your husband’s, real love won’t back away. 

Today’s Life Off Line Challenge:
– Ask God to show you an area in your life that needs to be addressed, instead of overlooked.
– Ask your husband if there’s anything in his life that would be a relief to have help to take care of … and then change your schedule to be his helper.

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Related

Previous Post: « Life Off Line: Snowman craft
Next Post: Life Off Line: Are you resting? »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Shay says

    January 23, 2012 at 5:27 pm

    Love this! Hubby and I just tackled some messes in our house together last night after the kids went to bed – and no one was grouchy…quite an accomplishment for us! 😉 Lots of prayer helps!

  2. Julie_Sanders says

    January 23, 2012 at 5:31 pm

    Good for you! And doesn't it feel good to clean up "life" together? 🙂 Julie Sanders
    http://www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com

    ________________________________
    From: Disqus <>
    To: [email protected]
    Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 12:27 PM
    Subject: [comehaveapeace] Re: Come Have a Peace

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  3. Sharon O says

    January 23, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    That looks like MY closet, organized to a point.
    It that a child on the top shelf? wow
    My goal this year is to reorganize and make better use of the closet.
    Wish me luck. 

  4. Julie_Sanders says

    January 23, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    It IS a child … but that's not my closet. Remember that Jeff dove into the clean out before I thought to do a "before" shot. 😉 I had to go to Flickr for this one. Not surprisingly, there were LOTS of "messy closet" shots, so we aren't alone! 🙂 Julie Sanders
    http://www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com

    ________________________________
    From: Disqus <>
    To: [email protected]
    Sent: Monday, January 23, 2012 3:58 PM
    Subject: [comehaveapeace] Re: Come Have a Peace

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  5. Sunshine for the Soul says

    January 24, 2012 at 6:24 am

    ah, so sweet.
    i have a mess, in my makeup drawer…does that count? 🙂

  6. Rach says

    January 24, 2012 at 9:34 am

    Real love doesn't back away from a mess….that phrase will stick with me today. Thank you. I think you will understand all the meaning in that. It is a good phrase to hear today. Love you! Appreciate you and these blogs. 

  7. Julie_Sanders says

    January 24, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    And praying for you and those around you. The bigger the "mess," the harder it is, but don't back away. Love and prayers to you! Julie Sanders
    http://www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com

    ________________________________
    From: Disqus <>
    To: [email protected]
    Sent: Tuesday, January 24, 2012 4:34 AM
    Subject: [comehaveapeace] Re: Come Have a Peace

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  8. Julie_Sanders says

    January 24, 2012 at 2:53 pm

    It does … and I do too, but Jeff's not really the one to help me there. 😉 Maybe having a mess there is my "daily reminder" to focus on being inwardly beautiful! Maybe …. someday I post a picture of my drawer. 🙂 Julie Sanders
    http://www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com

    ________________________________
    From: Disqus <>
    To: [email protected]
    Sent: Tuesday, January 24, 2012 1:24 AM
    Subject: [comehaveapeace] Re: Come Have a Peace

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Susan - Homeschool Mom, Foster Mom & Business Consultant, Mt. Juliet, TN

"Julie’s writings and teachings have been spiritual markers in my life. The deep knowledge of the Word she possesses, and they way in which she delivers it through her writing are deeply impactful. I would say that my favorite piece about Julie’s work is the way she speaks truth in love. She never waters down scripture to fit someone’s desires. And she does this with so much grace and compassion."
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Carla - Volunteer Coordinator, Harvest Church, Oswego, Illinois

"Through the years and seasons of life, Julie willingly follows God's open doors and trusts Him at times when some windows have closed. I have gratefully watched, learned and gathered courage for my own following. Whether speaking, writing, or just being present, Julie's grace, wit, interests and love draw others closer in to listen and follow her in step with His grace and mercy."
https://juliesanders.org/testimonials/carla/
"Julie Sanders is uniquely gifted to speak the never-changing truth of God into the ever-changing lives of women. With authenticity and the confidence that grows from a journey of finding God faithful in every season, Julie calls women to find peace and comfort in Him alone."

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Kristi - Women's Ministry Director, The Chapel in North Canton, Canton, OH

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