Julie Sanders

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Marriage Mondays: How to Have a Real Fight

Marriage Encouragement· Relationships

Every real marriage has conflict, but is it right to work it out on line? Couples like Ashton and Demi Tweeted for the world to hear their hang ups. Should Marriage Mondays be a place to air my dirty laundry or rally support when I’m licking my own wedded wounds? How do we have real fights in a virtual world? 

Should a couple’s conflict be taken public or kept private? Some forms of media are public. While we wouldn’t stand in Target housewares and yell over to our husband in Electronics, “You aren’t meeting my needs!” … somehow there are those who feel like they can post it as a status and feel okay about it. Other forms of media are on line, but they’re private:  texting, emailing, direct messaging. Can life on line have a healthy place in a “real fight?” 

How to Have a Real Fight

  1. See eye to eye. We communicate much with facial expressions and body language (Luke 6:41-43).
  2. Hear each other. Our mouth speaks what fills our hearts (Luke 6:45).
  3. Touch each other. Bring down walls of defense w/real touch that conveys a soft answer (Prov. 15:1).
  4. Taste your words. Instead of impulsively spewing bitter words verbally or in writing, consider their taste (James 3:10-11). 
  5. Smell sweet as you fight. “Walk in love” as a “fragrant aroma” to God (Eph. 5:1-2). 
    photo: microsoftoffice

Real marriages encounter conflict. Women respect their husbands and men love their wives when we work out our differences with dignity off line. When it comes to conflict, let’s keep it “real.”

Today’s Life Off Line Challenge:

  1. Before you tweet or post something to or about your spouse, say it out loud.
  2. Memorize Psalm 19:14 so the Holy Spirit has something to work with.

A Resource: For more inspiration and resources, online Christian colleges sometimes offer communication classes for couples.

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. TeriLynneU says

    This is awesome, Julie.  Psalm 19:14 is my life verse, btw.  I love your five tips … so practical, as always.

  3. Delia says

    So very true! So many people do air out their dirty laundry! online. lol, It's actually pretty crazy! 🙂 There was a time when I posted about an issue my husband and I had after the fact, and he agreed I could post it. But later I felt really guilty. Instead of it feeling like I was teaching, I felt like I was putting him on blast! 🙂 We must write, tweet, post with care!

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