Visit me today at the Mom Initiative, where I’m writing about Facing our Fears, help for moms dealing with childhood fears.
I want to say that going to the gym is a great way to reach out and make friends, and if you have a story like that, please share it in a comment. I’d love to hear it. But during the time (I admit, it wasn’t very long …) I had a gym membership, I found I was usually not excited about anyone seeing me with “gym face” or in my huffing and puffing condition. No one else I observed seemed to be building relationships there, either. People seemed to come there to work out in the limited time they had, and they usually watched the news or listened to an iPod while they exercised. I didn’t have an iPod and couldn’t figure out the tv’s, so I watched other people!
Gym membershi
ps can be Neighbor killers. Before people paid for privileges at community gyms, they ran or walked or swam … in neighborhoods. I actually live in a great neighborhood for walking (come on over!), and some Neighbors take advantage of it. They’re the ones I’m most likely to smile at, wave to, and talk to. Our frequent eye contact and “hello” while walking lays the tracks for friendships and a climate of kindness. I need to work on this more, but I guess I’m trying to walk fast and make up for not being “at the gym.”
Do not forsake your friend and your father’s friend, and do not go to your brother’s house in the day of your calamity. Better is a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away. Proverbs 27:10
It’s worth it to cultivate relationships with our Neighbors who are near. Personally, my sisters are both far away, and I’ve been so thankful for my friends and Neighbors near. Failure to “walk” where we can make eye contact, speak to each other, and begin relationships keeps us from the gift of friends in the day of calamity.
If I had a membership to a climate controlled, well equipped gym, I would miss a lot of great Neighbor-ing. Maybe people who don’t “do the Neighborhood” thing could just go to the gym with the “walk around the neighborhood” attitude … ready for eye contact, prepared to say hello, open to stopping, anticipating knowing the Neighbors there.
Gym memberships can be Neighbor killers, but going for walks and saying hello can overcome the challenge. Will you walk your neighborhood this week?
I have a giveaway today that I’m so excited about. Kelly makes beautiful pendant and bottle cap jewelery, and this lovely “Peace” pendant came from her. I LOVE things that say “Peace” and want you all to have something to remind you that God intends you to live in peace. But I only have 1, so one person will win this lovely pendant just by leaving a comment here (right under my signature below) telling me one thing that is a Neighbor killer where you are. Using Random.org I will choose a winner and announce it Friday morning!
I have a treadmill in our basement – I guess you can’t get more secluded than that. I don’t like to exercise, so being able to read while I walk is a big incentive. : ). I need to get out with the girls more often.
Sometimes it does me good to go walking just to be “available” to smile and say hi and pray for my neighbors, instead of really trying to count it as exercise. There’s a man in our neighborhood who actually walks and reads a Kindle at the same time!! I’m just waiting to find him sprawled out on a curb on day. The treadmill is definitely safer for reading!
Julie thank you for all of the neighborly advice. It comes at the perfect time.
I’m really glad to hear it, Tammy. Are you meeting any great new neighbors? When you’re the new one, you’re full of hopes for “that one great neighbor” who will reach out. I’ll pray that she finds you soon!
It isn’t easy coming up with Neighbor killers that you haven’t already talked about in your series. However, I know that fences are certainly good at keeping us separated from our neighbors. It seems like many houses are designed for back yard living instead of front yard living. It is more and more difficult to find nice front porches like yours! 🙂 I like to walk in our neighborhood except for the nasty hill that starts the walk off from my house. Maybe I should just drive to your neighborhood and walk with you…
Come on over! 🙂 Yes, your hill is pretty daunting. Yikes. You are SO right about homes designed for “back yard” instead of “front yard” life and about our fences. In our culture we have a lot of ways to give us privacy, but we lose a lot of our interweaving that way.
Well, I would love that necklace because Peace is my grandmother’s maiden name! How about that? I think the biggest neighbor killer is not having a front porch. I just love yours Julie. Most of us don’t have a front porch to speak of and we end up in the back of the house on a deck where we cannot waive to our neighbors as they walk by. My dream house will have a nice big front porch, maybe a porch swing, and definitely some comfy seats to sit in and enjoy a cup of joe and a good book.
Our front porch is really what drew us to this house. Not a lot of people want to venture down our hill 😉 but at least we can wave and chat from it! I think you’re right about the challenge of being porch-less … people used to have porches, and it was great for building friendships. I LOVE it that your grandmother’s maiden name is peace!
Well I will agree that not having a front porch is definitely a problem in our neighborhood of MANY split foyer homes! But I would say that one of the neighbor killers for us is the garage door! We pull in the driveway, hit the opener, go in through the garage and close it! Devastating:( I must say I am feeling the urge to start walking my neighborhood again:) Thanks Julie!
My garage door does the same thing for me. :/ I went out to walk in my neighborhood today, and right away I bumped into a neighbor who had a real burden that she wanted to share. I was able to tell her I would be praying for her. Great walk, but even better opportunity to be connected.
Kendra, you’re the winner! I will get your peace pendant to you this weekend. 🙂
Blessings,
Julie
Hmmm…..I think the overscheduled lives we lead are the killers for us. We used to have a “supper club” with a few of our neighbors and really enjoyed it, but as things for all of us got busier it went by the wayside. We have recently been talking about getting it going again!
AH, yes. Busy schedules don’t leave a lot of time for neighbors. A supper club is a GREAT way to plan time to get and stay connected!
Neighbor killer where I live – I live in a townhouse where we literally share walls with our neighbors, so I think most people feel they need their “spsce” so often avoid contact. Seems like everyone is either rushing in or rushing out! It’s a challenge! ~Jenny C.
I hear that from others who are “really close” … when we feel cramped, we really guard our privacy. It’s really easy to rush in and out. What have you found that’s your best overcomer?
I think a neighbor killer is procrastination. “I’ll talk to/visit/show concern/etc. to my neighbor later/tomorrow/when I’m not so rushed/after ____ is over/etc.
I’ve found that if I put it off, it probably won’t happen.
So very true, Mary. We can even fool ourselves into thinking that, because we’re talking about it, we’re really actively do it. Procrastination has been behind a lot of missed opportunities.