Parents often wish their children would share all about their school day, friends, and experiences, but find themselves frustrated at the lack of response. It’s even a quandary some women find themselves in when dealing with boyfriends or husbands in their lives! Why won’t he share more!?!? The ironic thing is, a lot of us are doing more now than ever to ruin the responses of the people we’re dying to hear from.
Why does it seem like it’s harder than ever before to engage in meaningful conversations, if we have more ways to communicate than we’ve ever known? The very tech we’ve embraced threatens to crush communication between parents and children, not to mention girls and guys, husbands and wives. People will share if we will listen.
When it comes to raising kids today, some parents can’t tear themselves away from their tech long enough to engage their children. When a South Korean couple became addicted to raising a virtual baby at an internet cafe in 2010, their real baby girl, born prematurely, starved to death. The parents couldn’t tear themselves away from an all night gaming session and returned to find their own child dead. The mom’s jail sentenced was suspended, because she was pregnant at the time.
Moms who care about things like going to the library, bedtime routines, and verbal skills find such neglect hard to imagine, but many of us accept low levels of neglect every day. Our children want and need our engagement, but it’s becoming harder for infants all the way through college aged kids to get or keep their parents’ focus.
Children today compete with the world of technology for the attention of their mothers.
Many moms pray and agonize over what the best way is to school their children and what the best choices are for their child’s activities and friendships. This time of year many moms hope and pray they made the right decision, but we have help from God to impress His truth on the hearts of our kids.
Deuteronomy 6:7 “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”
Maybe even more important that “what kind of schooling” we provide for our kids is “what kind of attention” we give them when we have the chance. Are we making the most of our opportunities, or have we fallen into tech habits that dominate our precious attention?
But good moms don’t ignore babies, right? That’s what a Colorado mom thought when she put her 13 month old into the bath tub. After getting sucked into a Facebook session, she returned to find her baby had drowned. Many of us are leaving our kids to “drown” while we’re plugged in.
This isn’t to say that a child should be the center of a mom’s world or that moms can’t have contact outside the “mom world,” but our children need our attentiveness, and they will learn to share if we listen. We have to put the tech down and give kids our attention.
Tomorrow I’ll share 3 steps needed to get kids to share (And I think it works for boyfriends and husbands, too … ).
Ouch Julie! This stepped on my toes! But in a good way :-). Thank you! I’ve been struggling with getting my son to talk about his day. Yesterday I felt like I was asking question after question with much more than a one word response. Praying I will find new ways to listen. ~ Mary
Sometimes our boys can stretch us in this way … I’ve found that if I’m “doing” something with mine, he’s more likely to open up than when I play 20 questions. And when he starts to unfold … I’d better drop what I’m doing and give him my total attention! I’m really trying to study how my responses encourage him to keep sharing or discourage him from opening up. My boy is 15, and he’s at an age when I’m seeing the “little” boy transform into a young man with new doors to open. Keep trying, friend. He wants and needs you to know him.