I’m really satisfied with my mugs and dishes, linens and accessories … but now that it’s November, we’re about to be bombarded with all the new, cute stuff coming out for the holidays. Comparison will breathe life into seeds of discontentment in my mind and heart, and I will murmur in place of being grateful.

The longer a woman is married, the easier it is to have the subtle spirit of discontentment flow into her home and make her an ungrateful wife. How long is long enough to become ungrateful? Could be six months, six years, sixteen, or sixty, but every woman runs the risk of becoming an ungrateful wife.

To be someone who is “always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Ephesians 5:20) is a sign of the Holy Spirit living and working in us. If we follow Jesus, we should be marked by a pattern of regular thanks. Nowhere does the opportunity present itself more daily and more privately than in the union of a man and woman. It’s in marriage where a discontent woman often begins her journey towards an unthankful heart.

In Discipleship Essentials Greg Ogden says “Thanksgiving is the cultivation of a memory. It is prayerfully listing the good that is in our life.”

Whether it’s been six months or six years, sixteen or sixty, a wife does well to cultivate the “memory” of her husband. 

Six husband memories to cultivate

1. his unique qualities that drew you to him
2. his desire to unite with her, his proposal, and his vows
3. his good acts during your marriage that have benefited you
4. his manliness in contrast to your femininity
5. his commission by God to be the “husband”
6. his shared life experiences with you

The world doesn’t wait until November to parade “new and improved” man options for a wife, suggesting that she would be “more content and happier if …” Are you giving face time or ear time to those voices?  The media, popular philosophy, and even friends may whisper suggestions that lead a wife to discontentment instead of gratitude. 

I remember

I remember being so captivated by my Jeff’s humility and quiet consideration of others, his thoughtful listening and his willingness to serve. I loved his unselfish ways of giving other credit and not seeking center stage when he could. And how could I ever forget how he cleaned up the mess when I got the flu and threw up all over his DESK (I have great aim!) in college!?!? It’s easy to let memories get covered up in all the current status updates, information, and up to the minute changes that fill “today,” but there’s value in cultivating memories that lead us to Thanks-giving.

Do you remember?

Pause today and spend a moment in “Thanks-giving” memory cultivation about the man who calls you his own. Reflect on the six memories above, write down what God brings to your mind, let your memories come into fresh focus, and come away with a newly thankful heart. After all, this IS a season of giving thanks, and a wife’s whole life will be more grateful when she begins with being a grateful wife.

What do you remember? Can you share an example of how you’re thankful for your husband?