Why some married people make good single friends

Join me today at Do Not Depart where I’m posting about Singles in Community. We’re answering the question, “If God sees the life of each individual, married or single, why doesn’t the Church?”

After asking is  Valentines Day for Singles? and talking about Married Friends for Singles, I have to tell you what my single girlfriends had to say when I asked them to be honest about this one: What makes married people good friends for singles, and what makes them not-so-good?

Married people make good friends for singles when:

1. Both husband and wife engage in conversation.
2. They don’t mention singleness constantly, but work to make conversation about all the other things that make up life.
3. They let us into their children’s lives, if they have them, as more than a babysitter; they invite us to birthdays, play dates, etc.
4. Good women friends work to build relationships and opportunities where we can focus on conversation, rather than always being distracted.
5. They are transparent, letting us see the rewards and the hard work of marriage.

Married people make poor friends for singles when:

1. They can’t spend any time apart from each other.
2. One partner is extremely jealous or over-protective of their relationship or time together.
3. They constantly try to help us “out” of our singleness.
4. They assume we’re lonely  or sad all the time OR so carefree and wealthy that we don’t understand “real life.”
5. Marriage pulls them away from friends, instead of making them a better friend.

These “Single things” give me a lot to think about. My single girlfriends have insights to share that my married friends and I need to be reminded of. The Body of Christ includes a growing number of unmarried people who want and need to be in community. Find out more about why there needs to be Singles in Community here.

Do you know someone who is married who makes a good friend to singles?

What do they do to make their single friends part of their community and life?