Dear God, He’s Home!
Many women can relate to experiencing the transition of a husband “coming home.” My friend Janet Thompson knows how a physical disability, job change, or retirement changes a marriage and a home. She also understands how having a home office, a military deployment or any one of many other changes might “bring a husband home.” Janet has a passion for sharing how God’s word provides honest answers for life’s real questions. In her latest book Dear God, He’s Home she helps women work through adjustments that come home with a husband. And her greatest cheerleader and supporter in this project? Her husband Dave.
You might know Janet as the founder of the Saddleback Church Woman to Woman Mentoring Ministry or as the author of one of her 17 books. Her book The Team That Jesus Built
Interview with author Janet Thompson
What inspired you to write a book about living with a stay-at-home husband?
Dear God, He’s Home!
Each of the “Dear God” books mentor women who are on a journey that I’ve been on myself. I know the loneliness and need for support and understanding that isn’t always available, so I write to mentor and encourage these women. The best compliment is when someone tells me it was if I was sitting right beside her as she read my books.
In Dear God, He’s Home!
Tell us a little about your research. How did you encounter other wives with stay-at-home husbands? What struck you about their experiences?
Whenever I mention the title of this book, wives smirk with raised eyebrows and knowingly remark, “Boy, do I have a story for you!” “I need this book.” “I know someone who could use this book.” Or “I’m going to need this book soon, write fast!”
When I sent out an email or Facebook request for stories of women with a husband home due to retirement, illness, disability, out of work, home office, the military . . . whatever reason…the stories flowed into my inbox and my ears.
I noticed that whatever circumstances brought a husband home, most couples admit they didn’t prepare for a time of being together 24/7!
What would you say is the most common struggle wives have with their stay-at-home man? What is the most common struggle that husbands have as a result of becoming a stay-at-home man?
Regardless of the reason for this season, wives of stay-at-home men experience similar difficulties, hardships, and blessings. The specific circumstances might be different, but the heart issues are the same.
The struggle I heard most often from wives with a stay-at-home man: he’s invading “my space.” They recount the loss of my home, my space, my privacy, my domain, my downtime, a place to call my own. As if that weren’t enough, looking for something to do with all his new found free time, the husband may decide to rearrange her routine, her kitchen—her life! One wife lamented that her CEO retired husband was “organizing” her kitchen and alphabetizing her spices. Another wife compared it to her going into his office, sitting in his chair, and rearranging his desk for him—“naught.”
The wife may also feel like her work load is increasing while his is decreasing, especially if she is still working or has to go back to work to support the family. The dismal prospect of him expecting lunch every day was lamented by the majority of wives.
At the same time, the stay-at-home husband is now trying to find his space in what used to be her space and that can lead to crowded space. Military families call this the “reentry phase” or reintegration—fitting back into “normal” home life and society. In Called To Serve, Lt. Col. Tony and Penny Monetti, who are endorsers of Dear God, He’s Home!
The home balance of authority feels off kilter when a husband is home.
Speaking of military, how can your book help women whose husbands are returning from deployment?
Military wives would be good mentors to every woman with a stay-at-home husband because they experience the reintegration process every time their husband returns home from deployment. The wife has been in charge while her husband is gone and they both have to figure out how to transition him back into the home schedule and activities, and she has to relinquish responsibilities taken over in his absence. The chapter topics and Mentoring Moments in the book offer encouragement and ideas for dealing with specific issues.
Dear God, He’s Home!
Also in the “Sanity Tools” section of the book there is a section dedicated to support for military couples.
How can readers benefit from the examples and advice you offer?
I include stories and scenarios from a variety of perspectives, not just my own so that the reader will surely find an example and situation she can identify with. Everyone sharing in the book, including my husband and myself, are open, vulnerable, sometimes raw, and often humorous.
I don’t want the reader to only rely on my suggestions and advice. Each chapter includes “God’s Love Letter to You,” which is paraphrased and personalized Scripture, and “Let’s Pray” where I pray with the reader. There’s also space for her to write her own “Dear God,” and practical application tips are provided in the Sanity Tools section.
My husband has been a stay-at-home man numerous times during our marriage and I understand the stress it puts on a relationship. Couples like us and those who share their stories in the book, who have experienced and survived the stay-at-home transition, can reach out to offer seasoned encouragement, tips, and prayer for couples currently going through it.
Who is your biggest supporter in your writing?
I dedicated this book to my stay-at-home man, Dave, who selflessly allows me to write and speak vulnerably and honestly about our messes and our miracles in sharing our story. I call him the “hero” of the book, but he laughingly refers to himself as “the sacrificial lamb.” He wrote the Epilogue and I think the way he signed it gives a window into the kind of support I have from him: Janet’s encourager, cheerleader, loving and devoted –stay-at-home man, Dave.
My passion and mission is to help other women learn how to use the good, the bad, the ugly life experiences to reach out and help another woman going through similar circumstances. It always helps to know we’re not alone and someone else has survived what we’re going through now.
To read a snippet of Dear God, He’s Home!
Visit Janet at:
https://www.facebook.com/Janetthompson.authorspeaker
www.pinterest.com/thompsonjanet
https://twitter.com/AHWministries
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Thank you Julie for your interview with me today and your support of my writing and ministry. I in turn support and appreciate all you are doing for women, your community, and your church. You are a sweet and gentle spirit and I’m honored to be in your circle of friends.
It was my joy to share it, Janet, and I’m so thankful to be in your “circle.” Your ministry has already impacted me, and I’m glad to have the chance to share in extending the “ripples.”