Yesterday we talked about domestic violence, a marriage topic brought on by a divine appointment I had last week with a lady I’ll call M. After God crossed our paths, I knew I wanted to spend some time talking about How to spot a battered woman. Read Part 1 here.
First Steps for Abused Women
- Tell yourself the truth. If you’re experiencing abuse, it will not just “get better.” It will only get better through God’s life changing power and through intensive, professional help. You do not have to be alone. There IS help for you. You do NOT deserve to be mistreated, and there IS help available.
- Get to a safe place. Find a shelter for women or seek out the help of a church. (The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1.800.799.SAFE) God wants you to be safe and protected and respected and cherished by the people in your life.
- Tell others the truth. People can only help you if you are truthful. Don’t believe lies that you will be sorry if you tell. God wants you to find restoration and rest. Truth sets us free.
And what about M? I don’t know where M is today. I hope she’s safe. I hope she knows her life has great value. I hope she remembers I said I would pray for her. Would you pray for M too?
And the other woman who stopped and stood with me on the sidewalk? God divinely appointed her too. She’s a follower of God, and from the questions she asked M, she understands what it is to be battered. Domestic violence situations are dangerous, and I was thankful for my grown kids (in our backseat) who could all my husband, for the “partner” God sent and for her watching husband nearby, and most of all for God’s presence. I’m sure He provided us as a momentary shelter for M and used our presence to turn M’s attacker away. If we understand more about domestic violence, maybe God can use us to stand as protection beside one of the 1 in 3 women on His behalf someday.
Do you know someone who is a victim of domestic violence?
How could you be a shelter for her?
My comment is that abuse never goes away. I was able to separate from my abusive husband in 1988, moving 600 miles away. Long story short: I was never able to move back home where my family is; only short visits. But God enabled me to take care of myself. I incorporated and tax exempted a small mission for reaching out to international students and scholars. But, 25 years I find myself in a difficult situation. The economy threatens to force me into gov. housing and without transportation. I am disabled in a wheelchair and I feel so trapped. It’s the same feeling I had when I was living with my abuser and I still have nightmares about him. As good as it gets, he is still there. Yes, I’ve had years of counseling. That can only help just so much. It was right to leave him but the nightmare never really ends.
I’m so sorry Donya. Sometimes just “leaving” can be an illusion for many women who still find themselves feeling like you, living with the residue of the abuser’s impact. Abuse is definitely one situation where we are seeking a peace that goes beyond our ability to understand and a peace that can cover us as we flee, put our lives back together, or face changes in the future. Praying for God to show you that perfect peace in these new situations and to give you great confidence in His perfect love.