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June 10, 2013 ·

Marriage Monday: Waking Up

Christian lifestyle· Marriage Encouragement· Marriage Monday· Parenting· Uncategorized

There’s not a season of the year when marriage help is not needed for us to have stronger homes and meaningful relationships. Marriage Mondays this summer are all about introducing you to some of my girlfriends and their full hearts. I loved how Joanne Kraft kicked things off last week for this Summer of Wedded Wisdom. Today I want to introduce you to my gentle, prayerful, hubby-loving, joyful friend Holly Smith. I’m pretty sure I need to be her next door neighbor some time in this life!

How to have a happy marriage and marriage advice
Waking Up

I had been praying about it for a couple of months, and God answered in the most unusual, but faithful way. This is what I prayed, “Lord, please wake my Chris up—make him fully engaged in life again–for he is sleep-walking. Wake him up, Father.”

So God did. He sent a friend first of all. The friend offered a challenge and invitation for my Chris to participate in a mission trip to India—to design something, life-giving and life-saving for these people. That spoke Chris’ language. I saw the tears and I saw the awakening gradually begin.

That evening came another type of news from our mortgage company. We were behind in payments and if we did not get things in order, we would be on the road to foreclosure. Now let me say it plainly. Chris did not intentionally let us fall behind. He was not fully aware. But he also was not fully awake. And when we stop watching, guarding and being on the alert, we miss important choices. To fail to choose is to not choose.

He was fully awake that October day! We got back-to-back in the fight. I believe this is key in any marriage issue. We choose to be on the same team. We choose to fight against all forces together. We choose to forgive. We choose to love.

The overflow is that God took this awakening opportunity to raise up not only miraculous help that was beyond our ability, but also He awakened the giant in my husband—the one who fights for family, who is fully alert and who wants other families to not miss one opportunity.

It was a gift in disguise.

Today we are on the last month of paying the missed payments back. By month’s end, we will be fully out of debt, except for a very small mortgage payment. We will also be on the road to saving – for the first time in our marriage of 22 years! We have seen God’s provision and we are making Him known in the way we share our story—the good, the bad and the ugly.

Chris is now leading a men’s Bible study in our home. He’s sharing our testimony. He has been invited to serve as a deacon at our church. He is leading our family with eyes wide open. No more is he sleeping. He is in God’s Word, prayerful and watchful—our family’s point man. Every step he takes is purposeful and under the Holy Spirit’s leading. He is also watching over our finances in a way unlike he has ever watched before—he has learned and grown so much!

I, too, am fully awake. I have found freedom in forgiveness, in choosing to not say—it’s your fault. But what shall we do together now? For I know this is OUR problem and we shall face it together. “Two are better than one for if one falls down the other can help them up,” the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4:9.

Most of us live like we have fallen asleep. We try to satiate the aching holes in our soul by feeding on mindless things. I am guilty of this for sure. To relax, I want to watch something that will not make me think–maybe laugh–but thinking is something that I try to turn off. I want to accomplish the things I have to, while doing something I like that somehow entertains me. As a nation, we rely on empty entertainment. Silence is a lost art.

Silence can be a springboard for waking up. For we use noise and entertainment to numb the pains of life. I know. For I have done it myself.

Recently my Chris traveled out of the country for the week with work. During that time, I made myself be silent rather than turning on the TV, radio or calling somebody. In the silences, I found a refuge of strength and healing in my spirit. I would be on the cusp of tears, as I missed my Chris so much. But also, I realized that some of our usual daily habits (staying up too late, falling into a mindless routine) were not happening. Perhaps as a couple–as a family even–we need to mix it up a little. We need to wake up!

For the groundwork we are laying in our families—it is of utmost importance. It may seem trivial now. But one day, we will find it was the means by which God did the most effective and active works we have ever seen. Those works will count throughout the generations—they will be told and re-told. And it all began with a prayer, obedience, watchfulness and silence. It all began with God, who invited us from the start.

About Holly Smith

Holly SmithHolly loves her job as wife to Chris and mom to Noah, Kylie, Tabor and Sydney. God has gifted Holly with a love of all things creative ~ from painting and wall papering to scrap-booking and design work. In addition to co-founding and managing A Martha Heart, she designs web pages (www.crownlaiddowndesigns.com) and marketing pieces. She also participates with a wonderful team of moms in writing at The M.O.M. Initiative. Holly and her family make their home within site of year ’round snow-capped mountains in Colorado. She can be reached by emailing [email protected] or connect with her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HollyGorinSmith.  Read more from Holly’s heart at:  www.amarthaheart.com

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Comments

  1. Mothering From Scratch says

    June 10, 2013 at 11:38 am

    {Melinda} Thank you for this. I really needed to have this encouragement today. I’ve been praying for similar things in my own marriage. It’s encouraging to hear how God has worked in your husband’s life and marriage.

    • Julie Sanders says

      June 11, 2013 at 9:00 pm

      I’m thankful for the chance to have Holly share her story, Melinda, and I’m so glad it was timely encouragement for you. Keep on praying, friend, because there is no doubt that God is hearing you, just as He heard Holly’s cry for a “wake up” in their marriage. Pray on!

  2. Christen says

    June 10, 2013 at 8:16 pm

    Love this idea of “waking up” Holly. It’s amazing to me how we can let the worries of this world make us want to sleep but when we ask God for clarity, the Light of this world opens our eyes. Yay for being debt-free, friend!

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Susan - Homeschool Mom, Foster Mom & Business Consultant, Mt. Juliet, TN

"Julie’s writings and teachings have been spiritual markers in my life. The deep knowledge of the Word she possesses, and they way in which she delivers it through her writing are deeply impactful. I would say that my favorite piece about Julie’s work is the way she speaks truth in love. She never waters down scripture to fit someone’s desires. And she does this with so much grace and compassion."
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Carla - Volunteer Coordinator, Harvest Church, Oswego, Illinois

"Through the years and seasons of life, Julie willingly follows God's open doors and trusts Him at times when some windows have closed. I have gratefully watched, learned and gathered courage for my own following. Whether speaking, writing, or just being present, Julie's grace, wit, interests and love draw others closer in to listen and follow her in step with His grace and mercy."
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