It’s too bad my gal pal Cheri Gregory lives on the West Coast, because we could have a lot of fun together! We met as part of The MOM Initiative team of moms. Cheri calls her blog home Anchoring Hearts in Hope. Her own story is one of striving to be the “good little girl,” which led her to attempt to be the “perfect daughter,” and hurled her through an eating disorder and tumultuous teen years. She identifies with those who are burdened and offers hope through God’s rescuing love. She knows, first hand, that “He rescued me because He delighted in me.” (Psalm 18:19)

Cheri is Engaging, entertaining, and enthusiastic as a story-teller extraordinaire, writer, and dramatic presenter. She has been married since 1988 to her opposite personality, Daniel, who is a pastor, teacher, and musician. Cheri is a high school English teacher and mom of a college-age son and daughter. She is currently walking through the challenges of Alzheimer’s with her mom.

Let my story-telling friend inspire you with marriage hope today.

For many years, I did my shoe shopping at Safeway.

This was difficult, because the Safeway near my home doesn’t sell shoes, only groceries.

But I’ve never been one to let a challenge stop me!

I became all the more determined to do my shoe shopping at Safeway.

Every week, I scoured the isles: no shoes.

Every week, when the cashier pleasantly asked me, “Did you find everything today?” I responded loudly, “No, I did not. I came here for shoes, like I do every week, and I still haven’t found any shoes.

Every week, I filled out a complaint form at the so-called “Customer Service” counter: why no shoes?!?

Eventually, I became so focused on shoe shopping at Safeway that I started going daily, just to see if they’d finally set up a shoe isle.

Day in and day out, I experienced nothing but disappointment. After disappointment. After disappointment.

I started grumbling about Safeway to my friends. Complaining about the lack of shoes at Safeway soon became my sole topic of conversation.

It all seemed so unfair.

Discovering Payless ShoeSource

Then, one day, I happened to drive by a Payless ShoeSource. As I walked in, I could not believe my eyes: shoes! Isles and stacks and endcaps and displays of shoes! I bought two pair on a BOGO sale!

My next stop was Safeway. As I walked in, I could not believe my eyes: so many beautiful groceries! Fruits and vegetables…breads and cakes…cheeses and deli meats…I filled my cart and headed to check out.

The cashier nervously asked, “Did you find everything today?” and when I responded, “Why yes, I did, thank you!” she looked shocked.

The manager seemed surprised when I walked by the Customer Service comment box with a friendly wave.

The day I stopped doing my shoe shopping at Safeway is the day I started enjoying grocery shopping at Safeway.

A Marriage Metaphor

Okay, so I made all of that up.

I would never be silly–and ultimately foolish–enough to go shoe shopping at Safeway, would I?

Well, in the early years of my marriage, I stubbornly “did my shoe shopping at Safeway” by expecting Daniel to meet some of my needs that he was unequipped to meet.

The more I demanded that he meet these specific needs, the more hyper-focused I became on his failures. The more I focused on his failures, the more I ignored his myriad strengths.

Sadly, for many years I acted as if everything he did bring to our marriage–all the ways he did meet my needs–were worthless because of his one area of (so-called) failure.

After years of frustration (for both of us!) I was convicted that 1 Corinthians 12:4-6 applies to the gifts we bring to marriage:

“There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work.”

By continually downplaying the gifts Daniel brings to our marriage, I was discounting the work of the Spirit in him and our marriage.

When I finally took responsibility for the needs I’d spent so many years trying to pawn off on my husband, I was astonished–and delighted–to discover all the ways he blesses me and contributes to our marriage.

Might it be time for you to stop shoe shopping at Safeway, too?

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