Marriage Monday

What’s eating you in your marriage? That thing that makes you wonder if you’ll end up in divorce court? The one issue you can’t seem to communicate about? The problem you hope the kids don’t see? That conflict you’ve just come to accept as your lot in life? God doesn’t want us to settle for parasites eating away our homes from the inside out, but a lot of us live that way. A parasite is a living thing that lives on or in another living thing, sucking away its host’s life in order to survive. The word originated from a Greek word that referred to giving free meals to someone who would, in exchange, provide entertaining, flattering, or shameless conversation. Parasites literally get under the skin and eat away the life of the host. Today, a lot of Christians let parasites eat away at the abundant life we’re meant to have in Christ Jesus. It’s not a surprise, really, since we’re warned to “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour,” (1 Peter 5:8). Our Enemy has introduced parasites into our private lives and into our marriages, and they’re sucking the life out of us. This September, we’re going to answer the question, “What’s eating you?” Since today is Marriage Monday and the start of September, let’s talk about some of the parasites in our lives as couples. I hear many of them from the many women I work with and care for. So what’s eating you?

• Does one of you have a habit that offends the other?
• Is there a sin of pornography putting a barrier between you?
• Are you living with the bitterness of unforgiveness?
• Have you refused to respect him, or has he refused to love you?
• Do you hold out on caring for each other with tenderness & protection?

When we lived in Asia, we had to take a “de-wormer.”  That’s right. Ever couple of months we went to the pharmacy and quietly whispered, “De-wormer, please.”  The clerk would turn away from the crowded window and yell to the back room, “WORM PILLS!!!” “Thank you very much,” I would mumble. Finding it hard to accept that we could be “carriers,” I would shamefully hang my head and try to look … not white and American and “new.”  No one cracked a smile. No one.  Because we were ALL at risk, and we knew it. Everyone understood that life on our earth means we are targets for parasites, and so we were diligent to take our pills. At least most of us.  Others became hosts for organisms that literally ate them from the inside out, and then healing was painful. Sometimes it was too late for healing. If we aren’t careful, we’ll carry a parasite in our marriage and not recognize the symptoms. Unlike the physical reactions to an invader like fever, chills, pain, and diarrhea, when a parasite attacks a relationship, we can focus on the symptoms and ignore the real problem.  We might even call the problem:   “communication, video games, s*x, spending, laziness, or addiction.”  Those are symptoms of the real problem:  the parasite of sin.

Not only do we have our flesh to fight against, but the devil is lurking around looking for a good “host.”

Pretend like you’re coming to the pharmacy window, but this time it’s the Great Physician standing at the counter.  Tell Him what your symptoms are.  Tell Him how bitter you feel, how unloved, how misunderstood, how deceived, how vulnerable. Tell Him you need something to cure your parasite of sin; start with yourself. We’ll talk about your husband next week. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness,” (1 John 1:9). You don’t have to live with a parasite. Cleansing starts with confession, and that may hurt at first, but it’s the only way to get your parasite out.  It’s the only way to be the healthy wife you’re meant to be, even if your spouse still needs a “de-wormer.” You can be healthy and have life abundantly in Christ, and that life starts from the inside out.

So, really, what’s eating you?

 

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