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Marriage Monday: PARASITES

We shouldn’t be surprised, because we all know it. Work is WORK. But for married couples, there are times when a profession can become a parasite. Having found its way into the bowels of life together, it may reach unhealthy proportions and suck away the joy once shared. You don’t  have to let his job ruin the peace in your marriage. A job was never mean to be the master of your home, and it was never meant to replace you as your husband’s soul mate. With some simple truth from God’s dependable word, you can reclaim some wedded bliss in your marriage. How do you know if your husband’s work is a parasite and what to do if it is?

If you suspect your man’s profession has reached parasitic proportions, it probably has. Genesis 3 warns of a battle every man will face: “cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return,” (vv. 17b-19). In his efforts to provide for his family, a man finds himself fighting against the cursed world and trying to resist a hostile takeover of his life and relationships, his marriage and home.

If he’s losing the battle, his career may feel like the enemy. But it’s not. You may secretly want to turn a picture of his boss’ face into a dartboard or may feel as if you’ve been swept into the battle yourself (you have), but the job is not the enemy. A wife needs to be careful not to convey the attitude that her husband is inadequate in his work. What God means for good, Satan still wants to use for evil, and that includes our work. Directed by God’s unchanging principles, our labor can and should be a good thing. Since men put so much stock in the respect they receive from their work, it’s a prime target for the true Enemy to use in discouraging our men and dividing our oneness.

His work might be a parasite if:

1. “Work” doesn’t respect the boundaries of your family.
2. Your husband finds it impossible to come home and leave work behind.
3. Professional pressures lead to decisions he would not otherwise make.
4. The two of you frequently fight about his work.
5. He is discontent and/or unsuccessful but sees no way out.

So if your husband’s career has gotten under your skin and is eating away at your marriage, you aren’t powerless. Satan would love for you to believe it, but it’s not true. God doesn’t want you to live as slaves of a job. Even though economic challenges drive many decisions, there is hope.

1. Pray for your husband’s work world: his boss, fellow employees, competence, ethics, decisions, energy. More than nagging or hand wringing or dart throwing, prayer works.
2. Believe in your man and let him know it: no one else is looking out for him; you be the genuine voice of confidence. God speaks encouragement through you.
3. Thank your man for his provision: even if you share financially, God appointed your man to lead and provide for your home. Be grateful and be helpful in how you spend.
4. Communicate your concern with respectful, loving, prayed over words, but not statements of accusation. Use words of a partner lovingly concerned about the health of the union and the best of her man.
5. Grow healthy yourself. If there’s a parasite invading his life, it’s imperative that you be healthy. Even if your man is struggling, you can be strong and trust in God’s direction. He may give you insight your heavy hearted or distracted man needs.

The Enemy knows how important a guy’s profession is to his sense of well-being and leadership; it’s a great way for a parasite to find its way in. If this post has helped you realize you have a “job” to do, then start by taking these 5 steps of praying, believing, thanking, communicating, and growing. Stop and pray right now, and then choose a time to sit down with your guy and share your heart. Don’t let a job eat away at your union!