Marriage is like November. If you aren’t thankful, you’re not going to enjoy it.

Discontentment is the fastest way to spoil the bliss of married life. Discontentment pushes the gratitude out of marriage, leaving behind a sense of dissatisfaction and bitterness. Feeling dissatisfied? Feeling bitter? You might dig down a layer or two or three and unearth a lack of gratitude. Look hard, because the seeds are small.  They sound like this:

Discontentment to your husband

• Thanks for taking the trash out, but why don’t you put a new bag in?
• Her husband puts his arm around her in church. You’re not very affectionate.
• I’m so tired of our house. I can’t be happy here anymore.

Discontentment in your thoughts

• If my husband was more outgoing, we would’ve had a better time at the party.
• A godly husband would discuss the pastor’s message over lunch. Hellooooo?
• He’s not talking to me enough. He must not care about how I feel.

It’s easy to be discontent when we look at our lives through a distorted lens. Though we once felt like our spouse could do no wrong, marriage often turns into a mental list of all the ways a partner fails or falls short. We aren’t able to be content with our marriage and our spouse if we see everything through the lens of “me.” Instead of finding faults, flaws, and failures, “if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” (Colossians 3:13b)

Gratitude is the answer to discontentment, and this is the month for gratitude. The month of Thanksgiving. The giving of thanks. The choice to appreciate. The decision to see the good. Developing habits of satisfaction.  God not only gives us all we need for life and godliness, He gives us all we need to be satisfied, content, and grateful in our marriages.

To be discontent with our spouse is to shake our feminine fist in the face of God and shout our rejection of the good gift of our husband. This month we’ll see daily declarations of gratitude on Facebook, Pinterest ideas for filling our tables with words of thanks, and videos of why we should be content with all God has given. After all, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17). To be bitter towards our husband is to be bitter towards the God who gave him to us.

How to do away with husband discontentment

1. Think before you speak. Will your words lift up or tear down?
2. Watch for his good traits and verbally affirm them.
3. When you have a moment of irritation, let it go.
4. If your husband fails, thank God your guy is imperfect = a good match for you.
5. When confronted with flaws, prayerfully ask God to humble you & help you serve.
6. Pray for your man to become the great man God desires him to be.
7. Really frustrated? Write down the reason why, and then write “GRACE” over it.
8. Ask God to take every discontent thought captive; replace them with thanks.
9. Tell your husband you are thankful for him.
10. Thank God for His gift of your husband to you.

It’s November, and you do not want to be left out of the joy of Thanksgiving.  Marriage is life together, and you do not want to be left out of the joy of oneness.

Will you commit to turning away from discontentment in thoughts and comments about your husband and your life together? Would you commit to trying these steps to become more grateful, more content, towards your husband? A grateful wife is more beautiful to a husband than a table centerpiece, an elegant wreath on the door, or an artistic pumpkin display.

Give your man a wife with an attitude to be thankful for!

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