To me, marriage never had an obvious place in the story of Christmas, until now. Maybe you’ve missed it too, but it’s there, tucked away in the all too familiar words of Matthew chapter 1. Marriage mattered at the manger.
We have questions about the Christmas story, but we know Mary was engaged to a just man named Joseph. To the surprise of all and the horror of most, she turned up pregnant before they were allowed to come together. Just as the husband-to-be was figuring out what to do with his broken dreams, he was visited by an angel who knew he was freaked out, but “unwilling to put her to shame,” and “resolved to divorce her quietly.” But God wanted Joseph to stay married, to lead in the marriage, and to work out unity.
Instead of Joseph’s Plan B, the messenger said, “do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins,” (Matt. 1:20b-21). God knew Joseph was scared. Marriage is hard enough without throwing in a potentially untrustworthy wife, a wrecked reputation, a child who isn’t your own, and the rejection of relatives. But it was all going according to God’s plan (v. 22). That doesn’t mean God disregarded the sacred nature of marriage. Even in the extra ordinary circumstances of Mary and Joseph’s relationship, God held marriage in high regard.
- The two had not come together physically before completing their covenant promises
- God sent a messenger to Joseph, leader of the home, to tell him not to fear, but to lead forward
- Joseph still had the right/honor to give the baby Jesus His name
- God wanted Joseph to know he was part of the plan to save His people
- Joseph was never just a prop for Mary; Joseph was the leader of his earthly family
It mattered to God that the marriage around the manger was strong. God could’ve thrown lightning bolts and boomed in a thunderous voice to scare Joseph into being a silent bystander while He hijacked his family for divine purposes, but He didn’t. The heavenly Father of Jesus wanted the earthly father, Joseph, to be on board with the plan.
We know the marriage of Joseph and Mary was godly, because we know how they responded. As for the husband, “When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name Jesus,” (Matt. 1:24-25). Joseph yielded to the words of the heavenly messenger and stepped into his role as earthly papa and named the baby “Jesus.” When he assigned the name, he provided his endorsement as Mary’s husband, claiming the baby as his own and publicly accepting him. Though the baby was the offspring of the Holy Spirit, Jesus received his name from the leader of a united, earthly, married couple.
God cared for marriage at the manger
- God wanted the couple to be led by the husband
- God wanted the couple to be individually yielded
- God wanted the couple to be divinely directed
- God wanted the couple to care for each other
- God wanted the couple to be in agreement
- God wanted the couple to experience unity
The story would’ve been different if Joseph begrudgingly took Mary as his wife, refused to be tender, withheld his care, or doubted her. God took pains so the earthly marriage of Joseph and Mary provided a godly home to receive His Son. Even at the scene of the manger, marriage mattered.
Let the manger matter in your marriage
- Are you letting the husband be the leader of your marriage?
- Are you each individually yielding yourself to God?
- Are you experiencing God’s direction as a couple?
- Are you caring for each other?
- Are you in agreement about what God wants of your family?
- Are you living with a unified attitude towards your life’s circumstances?
Somewhere in your world, I’ll venture to guess there’s a manger scene in your life. On a Christmas card? A nativity set? At your church? In your town? On a pin you wear? Your screen saver? Look at it in a fresh way today and know that even at the manger, marriage mattered.
Read this part of the manger story here.
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