I asked Jeff what “him” I should include in 28 Days All About Him. Without missing a beat, he said, “KISS him.”  🙂

I considered writing off his suggestion as self-serving, but since we’re seeking to understand HIM, I think it bears inclusion. NOT just for boyfriends or husbands, but for men who really do long for what they get from a kiss.  A father loves the kiss of a daughter. A friend loves the kiss (on the cheek!) of a friend. While we know a kiss, like anything, can be twisted into something cruel, let’s look at the what men love about a kiss. Valentine’s eve seems like the perfect time to pause and take note of why we should “kiss him.”

What men love about a kiss

• We kiss who we trust. A kiss says, “I make myself vulnerable to you. I trust you.” Whoever gives an honest answer kisses the lips. (Proverbs 24:26)
• We kiss who we accept. Like when Joseph’s brothers (who SOLD him as a slave!) came t him for help, “And he kissed all his brothers and wept upon them. After that his brothers talked with him.” (Genesis 45:15)
• We kiss who we receive. Your father, brother, friend, boyfriend, son, husband … wants to be received by you. Even after his anger and bitterness to his deceiving brother Jacob, “Esau ran to meet him and embraced him and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.” (Genesis 33:4)

If there’s a boy or a man in your life who longs to know he’s trusted, accepted, and received without barriers, maybe he needs to be kissed! These small and powerful acts of hospitality and blessing have potential to speak volumes of respect and become kisses men love. Since it’s often culturally loaded, consider if there are traditions or relationships that should steer when and where you plant your smackeroo. Sometimes a kiss on the cheek may be very acceptable. Other times, only a kiss to the right cheek-left cheek-right cheek (count ’em … that’s 3 total)  is considered respectful. Take it from a gal who once embarrassed herself when she landed on the lips by not keeping with the rhythm … you want to know what makes a kiss a blessing and what makes it a blunder.

A kiss will speak to the guy in your life. He will hear: I trust you, I accept you, and I receive you into my life.

What men love about romantic kisses

• We kiss who we enjoy. Like the bride in Song of Solomon, who said, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! For your love is better than wine.”  (Song of Solomon 1:2)
• We kiss who we admire. A man wants to be admired by his woman. “Your lips are like a scarlet thread, and your mouth is lovely.” (Song of Solomon 4:3a)
• We kiss who we desire. A kiss removes barriers and invites the lover to enjoy. That’s why a kiss should be respected by those who have not pledged themselves to each other; it has the potential to lead to great intimacy. “Your lips drip nectar, my bride;honey and milk are under your tongue.” Song of Solomon 4:11a

If you’re in a romantic relationship with a man, then we wants and needs to know you enjoy him, you admire him, and you desire him. Yup. Jeff is right.  Kiss him. Genuine romantic kisses are kisses men love.

And if you plant one on him and it feels rather “flat” (because sometimes it does) … then count to 7.  At least kiss him for a count of 7.  You might’ve fallen into the “peck syndrome.” I know this territory. It happens to every couple, if they’re honest. You stop having decent kisses, because:  you’re busy, you’re tired, or you’re distant.  Count to 7 while you kiss that man, and think about how you enjoy, admire, and desire him. And if you’re desperate, smear a little Song of Solomon nectar on your lips … it won’t hurt in giving kisses men love 😉

A kiss will speak to the love of your life. He will hear:  I enjoy you, I admire you, and I desire you.

Want more about how to KISS him? Read Marriage Mondays:  A Passion for Puckering