There was no formal invitation or memorable moment when it started. Once we agreed it and none of its kind were allowed in our bedrooms. But it gradually entered our sanctuary in the same way dust gathers on the window swag, which aggravates my allergies. One day, I just noticed it’s there and needs to be swept away: a cell phone on the nightstand. It’s making it harder to speak life to each other in our bedroom.

I started to give it a place when our daughter went off to college and would text at the end of her day, often later than the end of our day, but we didn’t want to miss it. Then I found it made a handy alarm. About that time, Jeff found an app to track his sleep cycle, and he was fascinated by it. By then, I found myself picking it up each morning to catch the breaking news of our lives, telling myself I needed to know so I could pray during my devotions. I felt good knowing my info source was close by.

I didn’t want to miss something. But I was missing something. It was like a hook and I was the fish.

All the while, something was happening. Distraction entered, finding its way into my thoughts and into our bed. I was more likely to scan Pinterest than cuddle in conversation. I was more likely to send a final text, than whisper a final “I love you.” Even the quality of my sleep changed, knowing I was inches away from work and the world and the web and worry. I was more likely to awaken with curiosity about far away things than attend to my heart and loved ones near me.

We know God said, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:9) but so many husbands and wives are INVITING a whole host of information and people into their bedrooms with status updates, Tweets, messages, games, and comments.  It’s spoiling the quality of our bedroom refuge and our intimacy. We’re wondering why we feel separated, but we invite the distraction in and give it a place on the nightstand.

Bedroom cell phone side effects

Maybe you can have dusty swags and cell phones in the bedroom, but they bring out the worst in me. These 2 subtle invaders change the atmosphere. It’s no longer reserved for resting and talking and loving and praying. To know my phone lies listening and waiting, ready to alert me at any moment, spoils my peace and interrupts my rest and aggravates our intimacy.  If I’m to protect the peace of our bedroom, I must banish my cell phone. I want my bedroom cell phone free.

What’s invading your bedroom and making it hard for you to speak life into your marriage? Do you have a cell phone on your nightstand, silently calling to you and suggesting you might miss something? Has some technical device found a way to be welcomed in and made at home? What are you really missing? Do one thing this week to restore your bedroom to the refuge it can be for both of you and for your marriage.

Tips to make your bedroom a refuge

• Banish the tech
• Clean it
• Throw away old papers, etc
• Re-arrange the furniture
• Get a stand-alone alarm clock
• Spend more time in it