Marriage is a lonely place for those who make excuses. It becomes a place where we don’t feel safe or fully known. In fact, God doesn’t want us to live in relationships that are bad, abusive, or loveless; He wants to change those empty relationships to fulfilling ones. When a husband and wife become more like Christ in their life together, their union glorifies God. To change our marriage relationships from sour to sweet, excuses have to be eliminated!
Telling the truth is the opposite of making an excuse. Without realizing it, couples often slowly adopt excuses instead of facing conflict, communicating about hard things, or being honest about weaknesses. How does this unhealthy habit find its way into a marriage that began with solemn vows, rows of witnesses, and promises? All it takes is a simple plan for the holidays, a single financial decision, or a personal urge in a private moment, and we may feel the urge to minimize our exposure and embarrassment with our spouse or with others.
Moments for making excuses in your marriage
- Where did that receipt come from?
- Who were you talking to?
- Did you search for this on the computer?
- How do you feel about going there for vacation?
- I thought we could put the kids in bed early…
When we compromise the truth with our spouse, we make an excuse. Making excuses in your marriage chips away at the trust between life partners. Though we may think we’re avoiding conflict, we’re doing damage to our foundation. When our trust begins to fail, the life we share follows.
“O LORD, who shall sojourn in your tent? Who shall dwell on your holy hill? He who walks blamelessly and does what is right and speaks truth in his heart.” (Psalm 15:1-2)
God doesn’t want the trust between a husband and wife to be replaced with counterfeit communication. He wants truth. Truth and the honest way of life that follows honor Him. When we make it a habit to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, He uses that to grow the bond between us and to bless the life we share.
Have you or your mate fallen into the habit of making excuses in your marriage? If you have, how about pausing to pray this prayer and start fresh today … no excuses?
Dear Lord,
I guess I’ve fallen into a pattern of communicating less than the truth with my spouse. I’ve used excuses to avoid conflict or embarrassment, so I wouldn’t have to deal with hard things. I really need Your truth to help me tell the truth. Will you help me to communicate in a loving way that doesn’t stir up strife, but that builds trust in our marriage? Stop me when I’m about to spin the truth and teach me to speak what’s real, without excuses.
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