Do you fear being in the 50% of marriages that fail? Or are you tired of struggling in a bad marriage, feeling like it’s not so bad to give in, since 1 in 2 women do? Turns out … that fear and that excuse are based on bad information. The marriage statistics that say 50% of all marriages end in divorce just isn’t true. That’s great news for Marriage Mondays!
We were misled.
True marriage statistics
According to Shaunti Feldhahn in her new book, The Good News About Marriage: Debunking the Discouraging Myths about Marriage and Divorce, “The actual divorce rate has never been close to 50 percent. It’s significantly lower and has been declining over the last thirty years.” Not only that, but “The rate of divorce in the church is not the same as among the non-churchgoing population. It too is significantly lower.” It was well worth the $7.99 on my Kindle to find out the real story. Sadly, a lot of people step closer towards throwing in the towel of their vows, because wrong information leads them to think failure is inevitable.
“The actual divorce rate has never been close to 50 percent.”
Sometimes excuses begin with bad information. It could even be that bad information was shared with good intentions. We think God asks too much, that we don’t have all we need to live the way He called us to. We listen to the world’s attitude towards what He ordained and fall into the trap of thinking it would be easier to live together, separate, or start over. Our Maker tells us what He asks of us in life: “He has told you, O man, what is good;and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8)
Victorious marriage statistics
While thriving in marriage is miraculous, it isn’t impossible. God hasn’t asked us to do the impossible, without giving us all we need to make it work. Even in Christian circles, some people of faith embrace a trendy “I’m just being real” attitude to account for why kids are unruly, homes are disorderly, and relationships unhealthy. By equating authenticity with defeat, we deny God’s power to accomplish what He has called us to.
The good news is that many couples experience victory in married life. In fact, Shaunti reports, “The vast majority (93 percent or more) are glad they married their spouse and would do it all over again – including those who had at one time considered divorce.”
Many women today jump on the band wagon of boasting in failures via social media, rather than getting serious about marriage to glory in Christ Jesus. Are we looking for sympathy or for people to agree that married life is more trouble than it’s worth? Do women really expect husbands to love them more after reading scathing remarks on Facebook about the life they share together or their personal struggles? In truth, marriage statistics show more people stay married than don’t. In our marriages and homes, we CAN live justly, foster kindness, and practice obedience. God can expect it, because He gives us all we need. That’s being real.
“His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence,” (2 Peter 1:3).
Thanks to Shaunti and her thorough reexamination of the research and interviews with people like George Barna and others who gathered the information, I now know the majority of couples make marriage work. God has called you and me to what is good, and He has given us all we need to experience victory in it. We can replace the excuse that most marriages don’t last with the exciting news that MOST MARRIAGES ENDURE!
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