Marriage is great, but it’s not heaven. Despite the fact that a lot of modern couples choose to skip the vows and just cohabitate, a lot of women still envision married life as heaven on earth, the thing they live for (aka an idol). I’m guessing Christian women fall into this category even more than non-christian women. Throw in a few Disney movies, and idealism fuels our idolatry of marriage and sets up poor, human husbands (with no super hero powers) to be a disappointment. Is a man the answer to a woman’s valleys?
Is a man the answer?
When a woman is in a valley, she may assume a man will make it all better. After all, he could:
- pick her up and carry her OUT (hmmm … I admit I like this one)
- devotedly stay down there with her, so she’s not alone (misery loves company, just sayin’)
- bring a whole bunch of happy things to the valley so she can pretend she’s not there (Amazon makes it easy)
- speak truth to her, take her by the hand, and guide her out (he has real potential)
But sometimes valley girls put their hope in a man and decide they’d rather have ANY man, even if he’s the wrong man. That’s a fast track deeper into the valley, where the true taste of heaven will be a longer time in coming. In that case, hope was placed in the relationship, instead of in the Great Shepherd’s gifts of rest, restoration, and righteousness.
Valley girls may be tempted to latch on to a man as their salvation, their answer, their way out.
What is the answer?
Even a well-meaning man (bless his heart) is a cheap substitute for God. Even a wonderful marriage is a poor substitute for heaven. Poor husbands who are married to wives who expect them to be the answer to their problems and their heaven on earth! I’m thankful to be in a wonderful marriage, but God makes it clear in His word that the best is yet to come.
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23:6)
Women who walk in valleys have only to latch onto the security found in the Great Shepherd to find their way to goodness and mercy here and now and in the real heaven forever. God’s design for marriage is sweet, but true heaven is yet to come.
- Married? Do you expect your husband to be the answer to your valleys? Have you made your marriage an idol? Are you expecting your marriage to be your heaven?
- Single? Are you waiting to get married to get out of the valley? Do you think a man is your answer? Are you looking to this life and losing sight of eternal life?
From our worship time yesterday, these words reinforce the truth of what’s in store:
“What no eye has seen, nor ear heard,nor the heart of man imagined,
what God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)
Let’s not expect of marriage what it was never intended to be: the answer to our valleys. Marriage is not the way of salvation. Marriage is not the way to a satisfied soul. God Himself can provide goodness and mercy for all of our days on earth, and He has future plans better than our closest compromise.
Especially when we’re in a valley, let’s fix our eyes on the only Source of goodness and mercy, the One who will welcome us across the threshold of His home for eternity. Marriage is sweet, but heaven is yet to come.
