We have no control over the pace of God’s movement in our lives. Lately, I have moments when I feel like I’m a spectator, watching my life building up speed. But it’s not really going faster than usual, even if my heart beats a little more rapidly and I stop to tell myself to breathe. Divinely orchestrated change is coming, and goodbyes have begun. Before I cross off more calendar days on the way to “then,” I’m just going to stop right now and say what I feel slightly guilty about saying. I don’t say goodbye.
It’s not that I haven’t said goodbye before. I have. A lot. That’s how I know the familiar vibe from friends and loved ones who know it’s coming too. I know how goodbye feels when it’s getting closer to my house. I’ve never welcomed it, whether it’s a frame house where trees are covered with green or a cinder block box with bananas growing out my kitchen window. Goodbye isn’t about the place. It’s about the people. And that’s why I’ve learned not to say it.
You’ve said goodbye before. Sometimes it’s quick. Sometimes it’s a relief. And sometimes it reaches into your gut and squeezes you until you feel like you won’t ever stop feeling the pain of parting. Goodbye can hurt. A lot. When everyone knows it’s coming, you can live with that squeezing for a long time. That hurts. A lot. I’ve said goodbye before.
Jesus knows what it’s like to say goodbye and what it’s like for us when we have limited knowledge of our future and limited control of our reunions. He knows. He spent a long time preparing people for his parting, but even that was framed in the promise of reunion. Goodbyes are survived by focusing on reunions.
“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:1-6)
This time, goodbye will be bigger. More unwelcome. Not because of the destination. God is sending us to the Tri-cities area of Richland, Washington. Like goodbyes past, it comes at His direction. But this time, in addition to a home, a place, ministries, and people we love, we will leave the children of our hearts. We will survive by focusing on reunions.
5 actions I’m practicing in this season of goodbyes
- Concentrate on reasons to give God thanks
- Look forward to the future God has planned
- Speak truth from God’s word over and over
- Allow God to comfort you when you hurt
- Walk in courage God enables you to learn
In the next 5 weeks, some of my readers will be part of our goodbyes and will join my other readers as distant friends. Local friend, please don’t be hurt if I don’t say goodbye. I would rather hug you close, pray for God’s best in your life, and assure you we will meet again. For those of us assured by the way, the truth, and the life, we look to reunion. The promise of reunion changes present goodbyes.
Know that when I smile at you without more words, I’m choosing to focus on reunions to come. It’s a good reason not to say goodbye.
What have you learned from saying goodbye? Any words of wisdom?
Oh Julie, I am praying for all of you as you go through this time of change & goodbyes. I know God has an amazing journey planned for you and can’t wait to watch it unfold! ~ In His Calm, Mary
Thank you for those prayers Mary. I’m counting on God leading to amazing places!
Oh Julie, I so understand. Three years ago I left family, friends, and familiar places (including a home I had lived in for 29 years), and moved away to the mountains with my hubby. To this day, it’s still hard. But, I have realized that the wonderful Truth is this – no matter where we go, God is there. Psalm 139 has some really precious things to say about that!
I’m not good at good-byes either. They’re heart-wrenching and sad. But I loved this quote of yours: “Goodbyes are survived by focusing on reunions.” This I remember – and it was particularly appropriate (and comforting) when I lost my dad last year. The end of our stories do not end in this lifetime – in fact, they never end.
I close with these most comforting words as Jesus said *good-bye* to us:
“‘Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me…When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am.'” (John 14:1, 3, NLT)
Because of Him, there are no good-byes – only “I’ll-see-you-laters”!
GOD BLESS!
Dear Friend,
This was a very sweet blog. You constantly encourage me through your writing. I love how you verbalized all of this, and are living it out in your daily life. I remember 15 years ago, how parting ways was so very bittersweet for me with you and Jeff. But here we are, 15 years later, still very precious friends, and my heart is so very grateful for you and for that. I look forward to any and each time we get to have a “reunion”.
Your practices of what you are allowing God to do in this season of goodbye is beautiful.
And you continue to challenge and encourage me in your journey of faith.
You are in my prayers so very often, as is Jeff and the kids….
-Rach
I’m glad you were encouraged, friend. Parting really IS bittersweet, but I love it when the Lord shows us that He was planning unexpected surprises … and reunions. 🙂 This will be our first major move with social media, and I’m excited to be able to stay in touch more than ever! Thank you for your words of blessings. It is a journey, isn’t it? Thank you for your prayers. They are a gift!