Dangerous and Deep Friends: Back to School Boost #2

Today is Back to School Bible Study Boost #2. This Wednesday we’ll welcome Christen Price as our guest writer!

I stood at the corner with my neighbor, waiting for her morning bus. A band of little people climbed around the branches of an inviting tree. They busied themselves in the first work of their day – making friends. All friends are not created equal, but every one, child or grown up, longs for and needs a sticky friend.

Today we look deeper into one devotion from this week in The ABCs of Praying for Students that includes: Friendliness, Generosity, Humility, Initiative, Joyfulness. As awareness of the world and the people grow, so does the longing for friendship. We may realize it early, but we feel it for a lifetime. 

• What difference has friendship made in your life? 
• If you have students, how’s their friend journey going? 

Let’s dig into the core verse for the “Friendliness” devotion to discover the difference made by different friends.  

 “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Proverbs 18:24, ESV)

Different versions make a difference

This verse seems simple at first reading, but versions differ in ways that make us take a closer look. 

• “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (NKJV)
• “There are ‘friends’ who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” (NLT)
• “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (NIV)
• “A man of too many friends comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (NASB)

First, this verse cautions us about friendship. It’s possible for friends to be destructive, unreliable, or too numerous. 

Next, we learn the potential of a good friend. These versions agree about a sticky friend being closer than someone we’re related to. 

So do we need to be friendly, or do we need to be careful? Maybe we need to be careful about being friendly. 

We need to be careful, because this verse includes two different words for “friend.”  The first communicates a caution and the second communicates the qualities of a good friend. Why the contrast of the two words? 

Different friends make a difference. Women know this, and students starting a new school year learn this quickly. We pray they don’t learn it with much pain, but we pray they learn it. 

Children need to know what women have discovered: all friends are not created equal.

What does this Mean about Different Friends? 

Dangerous and Deep Friendships

The first friend comes from the Hebrew word “raa,” with the idea of a companion who hangs around and is familiar. But this friend has the potential to destroy. Coming to ruin at the hands of this friend means being broken into pieces like a branch with cracks that breaks off under pressure. Modern day mean girls come from bad branches snapping off in sharp pieces. When trouble tests this friendship and hardships come, this person looks out for their own good first.

This first friend gives us the sense there are too many pieces to manage, “too many friends” to be deep friends or long-lasting friends. 

• Can you think of a time you faced a hardship and a familiar person added to the hardship or even caused it? 
• What school stresses may test and show the quality of childhood friends? 

Next, we learn about deep friendships. The second friend, the sticky one, comes from the word “aheb,” meaning one who loves in close relationship. This friend knows deeply, trusting and being worthy of trust. The sticky friend shows faithfulness in hard times, doing good for their loved one.  They may be “closer than a brother,” because they choose to come close into our lives and call themselves “friend.” We can’t choose family members, but we can choose sticky friends. 

We all want to find and be this friend. We want this friend for our children. 

• Who is your sticky friend? 
• Who would call you their sticky friend?

There may be seasons as women, or for our children, when a sticky friend is hard to come by. My loneliest times have been my times of greatest growth. School can be one of those times and places. But whether we find ourselves grown and longing for quality friendship or guiding our child through life longing for that friend, there is an unfailing friend who sticks.

What difference does this make?

No matter how we try, we can’t be or find the perfect friend. I choose to think having imperfect friends makes it more likely they’ll lovingly tolerate my imperfections! Ultimately, only one friend loves in a completely self-less way. The Bible documents the nature of this friend and offers proof of the history of our relationship.

In the words of God’s son Jesus Christ, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you,” (John 15:13-15).

While we aren’t equal with God’s Son, we can be both his servant and friend.  He showed his love by giving his life for us; this is an ultimate sacrifice in a time of need. When we become the God’s “friend” by receiving that close love relationship, our desire to follow Him results. As only this friend can do, he opens up what He does and why. This greatest friend wants to know us, to be known, and to live in the intimate closeness His sacrifice makes possible. 

All friends are not created equal, but every one, child or grown up, needs a sticky friend.

Something to Think About: 

As children engage their world and its people along the education journey, they need guidance to discern differences between dangerous and deep friendships. They need guidance to find the One Friend who loves best and sticks.  

• How am I building opportunities for this learning about people and about Jesus into my child’s experience?
• How am I making investments as a sticky friend to another woman and in knowing my friend Jesus? 

Something to Pray: 

Lord, help my child to learn how to look for and be a deep friend. Please awaken their alertness to danger signs of destructive friendships. I want to learn and experience what it means to be a sticky friend to others. Most of all, I pray my child would find and know the greatest Friend of all.  

This Wednesday Christen Price will be with us for our Back to School Boost Guest Post!