For those having parent conferences this year, they may look a little different than what we’re familiar with. Like everything else. For those not having parent conferences, who needs to have you share this post? It’s still possible to make a parent conference a helpful experience for you, your child, and your teacher. Taking time to think ahead can soften some of the stress you may feel by doing something that feels like you don’t know how to do something you’ve done before. Here are 4 ways to approach the meeting to make it worthwhile.
Come with context
In June a Gallup survey reported nearly 1 in 3 parents said their K-12 students showed signs of harm to their emotional or mental health. Many of today’s students learn in digital formats, changing formats, in distance settings, with some isolation, and without familiar sources of feedback and reinforcement. Traditional measurements of learning miss the mark of the whole child. The information available at a conference probably won’t reflect the degree of resilience your child is applying.
When Paul wrote to his learners in Ephesians 1, we hear his parental affection. He prays that the “eyes” of their hearts “may be enlightened,” so they know hope more than information, (Ephesians 1:18). In today’s context, measuring a child’s progress means so much more than mastering information. Their hearts and their hopefulness are rising to the top of their growth categories. As you approach a conference, come understanding that your child, your teacher, and your learning system are set within a wider context than before, one we are trying to understand as we go.
Come with compassion
Many of today’s educators work in settings with increased requirements and restrictions, with access to fewer resources. If they’re in a classroom, they’ve likely had to remove many of the soft, warm, and living things that helped to create an atmosphere that fed their soul and their students. Today’s learning context is often sterile, stressful, and strange.
When joining a teacher for a virtual, in-person, or through a mask conference, come to the table with a compassionate heart. The educator may be worn out and longing for the joy they used to feel in their job and now find absent. They may have their own children with struggles of their own. They may have an administration asking a lot of them. They may have other parents coming to conferences without compassion.
Come with compassion for the teacher, for yourself, and for your child. This may be the year you commit to praying for the teacher and praying for your child with a tenderness of heart you’ve never cultivated before.
Come with a collaborative attitude
No one knew how to do this before now. And we’re still building the plane as it flies through this school year. A collaborative attitude is one that approaches a task by sharing the work together. We need each other, and our kids do better if we help each other.
Ecclesiastes makes this clear in answer to a man who said, “For whom am I toiling, he asked, and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment? This too is meaningless— a miserable business!” (v.8b)
It sounds a little like the lack of motivation we can feel in COVID. We need each other to figure out the work, to help each other, to share the burden, to encourage each other, and to fight for one another in days that threaten to break us and our children. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)
Come with confidence
Coming with context, compassion, and collaboration will help us have a positive parent conference, but there’s one truth that matters more than all the others. “And so I am sure that God, who began this good work in you, will carry it on until it is finished on the Day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6 GNT). Or in this version shared with me, “I pray with great faith for you, because I’m fully convinced that the One who began this glorious work in you will faithfully continue the process of maturing you and will put his finishing touches to it until the unveiling of our Lord Jesus Christ!” (TPT)
God is overseeing the work in the life of our child. He’s overseeing the work in our life. A Pandemic does not stop God’s active shepherding and shaping of our lives through our circumstances. A parent conference in a Pandemic may be a time when you say hard things or hear hard things. It may be a time when you feel confused, stuck, or disappointed. But God is still working. He will not stop developing your child in the way your child needs. Come to your parent conference with this confidence.
Your child can be blessed by your parent conference in this Pandemic. Your teacher can be blessed by your parent conference in this Pandemic. YOU can be blessed by your parent conference in this Pandemic. Come with context for this school year. Come with compassion for your teacher, your child, and yourself. Come with a collaborative attitude to work together. And come with confidence that God is still watching over the work of your student’s learning for their head and their heart.
- The ABCs of Praying for Students is a resource to help you pray for your child.
- The ABCs of Praying for Students in a Pandemic is a digital resource to help you pray specific prayers for the context of the Pandemic.
