How to Put Down a Hang-Up

I walked into the church auditorium, wandering toward our usual row — it was full. The whole row was full, and so was the one behind it. The older lady who usually sits behind me had already found a different seat beside a friend. I overheard her say, “I usually sit over there, but I don’t mind sitting here.” She was smiling, at peace, even joyful. After years of separation, our church is reuniting with another church. If unity is the priority, we have to be aware of our hang-ups and lay them down.

How a Hang-Up Happens

Hang-ups happen privately. Encountering one small change created by someone else’s decision can easily lead to a fixation on what could’ve been or should’ve been or might’ve been. We all have normal preferences, frustrations, and fears. A problem becomes a hang-up when it holds us and we hold it.

It’s human to think of ourselves, but as Amy Carmichael said, “We all have the tendency to think too much about ourselves and too much of ourselves.” Simply by thinking more of ourselves than others, we take up a hang-up (Philippians 2:3-4). In the moment when someone else “takes our seat” we have a decision to make. Will I get hung up or lay it down?

When we give a normal thing authority to hold us up, it becomes a hang-up. 

How Our Hang-Ups Hurt Us

Holding on to a hang-up leads to bitterness. Some of them start from legitimate offenses, wrongs, and hurts that go unaddressed or unhealed. Deep-seated thoughts of offense, entitlement, or victimization hinder our health in every way. Relationally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically.

Hang-ups fall into the category of sinful thinking that “so easily entangles,” (Hebrews 12:1).  Fixations form around seeds of wrong thoughts about the actions and motives of others. Such distracting ideas put down roots that choke out the truth in our minds and hearts. If we hold on to those hang-ups, we can find ourselves experiencing isolation, broken relationships, sadness, or fear. Others feel the tentacles of a heart weighed down by hang-ups. Freedom starts when we face our need to forgive.

• Has anyone ever developed a hang-up that hurt you?
• Have you ever held on to hang-up that hurt others?

Nothing robs people of peace more quickly than a hang-up.

How to Put Down a Hang-Up

• We need God’s Word to shed light on our fixations.
• We need God’s Spirit to show us what’s true about life with others.

Since a fixation happens out of sight of others, in our minds and in our hearts, we need God’s help to be made aware of it. Everyone faces hardships, so we need divine help to see when our hardship undergoes an unseen change. That’s when we find ourselves with a hang-up.

Hebrews 12 describes how unholy, unhealthy patterns entangle us. Only when we “throw off everything that hinders” (v. 1) can we live the kind of overcoming life God intends.

God’s Word records a prayer for right thinking and living. “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24)

Jesus Could’ve Gotten Hung Up

• setting aside his glory
• being born in the form of a man
• experiencing the unfaithfulness of friends
• facing trial for crimes he didn’t commit
• healing people who later turned on him
• telling people to keep quiet and having them blab
• embracing someone who betrayed him for money

Jesus is our example, “the pioneer and perfecter of faith,” (Hebrews 12:2). Despite ultimate mistreatment from others, “For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God,” (Hebrews 12:2).

Jesus let a lot of things go. He overlooked more than we’ll ever be asked to overlook. He wanted to make a way for us to be reunited with him, so he laid down everything.

Hang-ups divide us. It can happen in our friendships, our marriages, our families, our churches, our nations, and our tribes. They can begin when our plans change, our feelings get hurt, our seat is taken, or our preferences are ignored. If unity is the priority, we have to see our hang-ups for what they are and lay them down.