When young adults look at their finances and their family history, many decide it’s no longer a good idea to bring a baby into the world. Financially speaking, new apartments in our town rent for more than our mortgage payment. The price of eggs puts breakfast wraps out of reach of a lot of families. Many couples feel like two incomes are essential to cover the basics, and many women don’t want to relinquish their freedom by yielding a career to pregnancy and motherhood. The idea of a “partner” has replaced the concept of a “spouse,” resulting in a different attitude towards the kind of commitment it takes to co-parent children.
When people think of family life today, brokenness and even trauma tarnishes the hope of a happy home life for many. Others wonder if it’s ethical to put pressure on limited resources to raise a family. Some even say that bringing children into the world is selfish, even immoral.
Pronatalism, Hell, & If We Bring a Baby into the World
On the other hand, pronatalists like Malcolm and Simone Collins believe their fertility profile makes them ideal candidates to have a big family that helps to offset what they see as a population problems on the horizon. Decreasing birth rates have a lot of people worried about potential economic strains. Should all the beautiful, healthy, and smart people have children while the rest of us watch from the sidelines?
In an interview near the end of March, singer Chappell Roan made strong statements about mothering. Actually, she said, ““All of my friends who have kids are in hell.”
Not yet 30 herself, Roan went on to say, “I actually don’t know anyone who is like, happy and has children at this age.” She continued, saying, “I have literally not met anyone who is happy, anyone who has light in their eyes, anyone who has slept.” Those are fighting words for women who bear the stretch marks of biologically bringing children into this world and for any mom who bears the heart marks of raising children in this world.
Chappell may not be completely wrong—mothering is sure to include some sleep deprivation and dim eyed moments or days. But are moms unhappy about it? Roan isn’t the only young adult asking whether or not it’s worth it to make personal sacrifices to join the ranks of motherhood. Is it worth rejecting God’s plan for marriage to result in children? Without jumping to judgment, I have to say I’m really glad people are thinking so much about this crucial question.
Is it still a good idea to bring a baby into the world? In complex times, complicated questions are sometimes best answered by a return to simple answers.
God oversees their design
This answers the pressure we may feel.
A mother’s womb is the wonderful place where a new life is made. There, God directs the creation of a child’s form and substance (Psalm 139:13-14) and declares it “wonderful.” When a personality merges with abilities, strengths, weaknesses, and obstacles, the fingerprints of God are on that little life. Life’s circumstances and relationships will shape the person, but the divine Maker Himself has taken responsibility to go from blueprint to baby.
God plans their future
This answers the fear that we may experience.
Moms today stand before a heap of options like podcasts, apps, technology, audiobooks, and more when it comes to getting “all the info” about raising a baby. Without knowing it, we may find ourselves feeling the need to know it all, find all the answers, and make it all work! The thought of getting it wrong when we have some much access to what’s “right” is downright terrifying.
Before a morning dawned, all the days from cradle to ___ have been written in the Designer’s book and “planned,” (Psalm 139:16). God Himself saw a child before she had a form. He knew the outcome of her days before a single day began. His plans been made, and we need not fear.
God loves each one
This answers the worry that might overwhelm us.
If you’re contemplating whether or not you could bring a child into an unloving world, you can know your child is already loved in it. In fact, it’s in our DNA to love others, “because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)
We deliver children into a life of being loved. Even when our love as human parents is inadequate, even when the world around us is the opposite of loving, God has spoken love over the life of every little one. If we focus on the failure of the world to love well, we may feel overwhelmed. But take heart in knowing to be born is to be loved.
God cares for mothers
This answers the needs we have as women.
If you’re listening to what a woman gives up or gets for being a mom, listen to the thread of honor woven through scripture. From Genesis 3 when the first woman received the name Eve—mother of all the living—to the Proverbs encouraging a son to listen to his parents and live so he brings a mom joy. Jesus himself modeled mindfulness about his mother’s needs and well-being. (John 19:25-27)
Despite what Chappell Roan says, being a mom doesn’t mean your own needs are ignored. God’s design for motherhood isn’t perennial sleep deprivation and the loss of that “light in their eyes.” Motherhood is hard work, but motherhood is holy work.
God shows up in families
This answers the problems in our culture.
Are all families doomed to have problems and hurt each other’s feelings? Well, yes. Yes they are. Family life isn’t perfect even if you look to God for His help every day and night. But it’s a space where He stays and works and helps and leads and provides. God made the blueprint for bringing children into families, and He’ll be there from conception to maturation. (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)
There is joy in bringing a baby into the world. Having a family and a home doesn’t have to be hell on earth. Quite the opposite—God helps us raise the children He gives us. He oversees the making of every child, plans their future, loves each one, cares for the mamas, and shows up in family life. It’s still a great idea to bring a baby into the world.
EXPECTANT is a New Mom’s Devotional to help women expecting a child or new to motherhood by giving her faith, encouragement, and grace. SHOP for EXPECTANT on Amazon or Barnes & Noble.
