Marriage Mondays: Teen Reality Check

Having teenagers keeps you humble, with a generous smattering of “reality” tossed in. It’s part of my Life Off Line. Like this weekend, when my two teens agreed and informed me that “Women my age” would probably appreciate what I was wearing. 🙂 I was just trying to convince them to take it easy on me, over my plate of Hibachi Chicken (which they were BOTH picking at), when I opened a fortune cookie and read to them: “Your family is young, gifted, and attractive.”  I felt set up. 🙂 They insisted I put the fortune on the fridge at home and went on to drop one liners about the wisdom of fortune cookies. At least it gave me a chance to finish my Hibachi Chicken!

My fashion consultants  😉

But a few days ago, our oldest teenager made an observation about marriage that rang oh, so true.

Jo – “Mom, you and dad don’t do anything exciting anymore. Like you used to when you were dating. How come?”
Me – “Well, basically, 3 reasons: Time, Money, and YOU.” (Said affectionately, of course)
Jo – “It seems like when you spend time together all you do is go out to eat.”
Me – “We do more than that. We also go to Target!” 🙂
Jo – “Mom ….”
Me – “Honey, you aren’t always aware of how we spend time together, and as life changes, it isn’t always easy to do exciting things like you used to.” (Yes, I know … this sounds like a big lame excuse. Don’t worry. She’s about to blow it apart.)
Jo – “Mom, Jake and I are pretty grown up now. You don’t need to stay home for us. We can take care of ourselves, and you can do more now.”

………….. Total silence. Mom thinking. Mom realizing, “17 yr old daughter is right. Why am I still acting like I have toddlers?”

I’m thankful for wise moments with my teens, because Proverbs 23:15 says, “My son, if your heart is wise, My own heart also will be glad.” So true, even when it means I’m learning.


Marriage seasons change, and in each season we need time alone with our spouse, to concentrate on each other and nurture the flames of our relationship. It’s true that some times are less conducive to “exciting things,” but those times don’t last forever. And in every time, we need to make the most of our opportunities to enjoy all it is to be and live in love.

So my teenager was right. We don’t always need to stay home “for them.” We should do exciting things together … without kids. 

There’s always a way to spend time with your lover. It may not fit in the “exciting” category, but it can always fit in the “time together” category.

• If you have a baby, put that baby in their own bed, and go snuggle on the couch.
• If you have a toddler, shut that toddler’s door and shut your own.
• If you have school age children, you should have a good babysitter by now … use them, or swap nights with another couple.
• If you have teens, they’re pretty grown up. You don’t have to stay home with them. Go do something exciting.
• And if your kids are out of the nest, I’d love to hear how you’re spending time together now … I’m right behind you, and I hope it’s going to be exciting!

What season of married life are you in? How are you spending time together?