It’s not always easy to let your husband take the lead. There are times when I want to get “in front,” lead the way, take charge, set the course … or hold the remote. To be a good wife is to learn to yield. Today you’ll ask some simple questions that will help you be a better partner in the dance of life.

I have to admit that when I travel, I have a sneaky “photographer stalker” side that comes out. My kids tell me I’m not as stealth as I think I am, but that doesn’t stop me. Just look at this sneaky photo I took while walking through Green Park in London this summer. (I hope this isn’t the president of the Olympics or Parliament or something …)

And when Mediterranean hosts sent us on a boat tour to “learn about the culture,” I found myself in people watching mecca. While the family wandered off in search of jaw dropping scenery, I was spellbound by a spontaneous dance that broke out on the deck above me. You may not think the two people were particularly striking, and individually they weren’t. What really captivated me (as a dancing failure) was the way this couple took a simple accordion song and turned it into something that looked choreographed and planned … together. It was so smooth, and the two were having so much fun, that a crowd of Asian tourists circled ’round with cameras in hand to take pictures up close, paparazzi style.  A beautiful twosome attracts the people around them. He led well, and she let him lead.  The two were not distracted; they moved as one.

 

Who would’ve thought that when God told Eve, “your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you” (Gen. 3:16b) that it would make MY marriage and YOUR marriage such a rub sometimes?  Though men were given a role of loving leadership, sin twisted the way men and women exercise their positions.  From that moment on, women would struggle with wanting to assert themselves over their men, and men would struggle with wanting to  “rule,” instead of being satisfied with leading. Even when we are blessed with a loving leader like I am, we still find out “inner Eve” rising up and wanting to take over at times.  What was meant to be a beautiful dance of two as one became a struggle to learn to get in step with each other.

 

It’s a beautiful thing when a woman lets herself be led. When tourist-dancing-man surprised his partner, because there were times he did, she simply went with the flow, laughed at the variety and adapted to her partner.  Maybe it was the sun or the Mediterranean breezes or the devotional in my bag that day, but their happy dance made me ask myself:

Questions to ask yourself

1. Am I an easy partner to lead?
2. How flexible am I when my husband changes course?
3. Do I try to usurp his leadership and take charge?
4. Am I waiting for a solo opportunity, or am I focused on dancing as a unit?
5. Do people distract me from letting my partner lead me?

Sometimes I admit that I try to lead our life to suit “my life,” choosing the course I like best, going the direction that makes the most of “my steps.” I’d love to just blame that on Eve, but I’m definitely “kin to Eve.” Marriage is so like a dance, and the better we are at letting our man lead us, the more beautiful our steps become.

Questions to ask your husband

• Is there anything I do that makes you reluctant to take us in a new direction?
• What can I do to be easier to lead?
• How can I best help you lead us?

A Prayer for a dancing wife

Lord,   there are times when I am tempted to assert myself over my husband’s leadership. You know my heart and You see those times, even if no one else does. Forgive me for sometimes resisting the roles you’ve given us. I need your help to be a good follower and to encourage my husband to take us the way You lead us. Teach me to have a heart that yields and sets aside my pride. I want the dance of our marriage to be something that will draw people to the beauty so they will see You!  I want to be the kind of partner that helps my husband be the best dancer he can be.