I admit it. I’m a little bit of a Valentines Day Scrooge. I don’t like feeling like I’m giving an expression of love just because Hallmark tells me I should be … or just because I want to stock up on dark chocolate. Loving all year is a lot more important to me, but like a friend of mine recently said, “In recent years, Valentines Day is more of a big deal with all the ads, tv commercials, etc.”  It makes me feel like a grouch if I don’t do something.

Do you envision “everyone else” having a romantic dinner, lighting candles, opening chocolate, crying over cards, and getting a foot massage before melting into a Harlequin-style kiss?  If it’s like that for you, great!  But it’s probably not reality for most people, married or single. I know married women who sigh over what they wish their Valentines Day was like. I know single women who sign over what they wish their Valentines Day was like. Marital status doesn’t discriminate when it comes to the Valentines Day Blues.

This year I interviewed a handful of my single girlfriends to ask them some questions about singleness, love, and yes … Valentines Day. What they shared is golden … like a bag of Hershey’s Pot of Gold golden. I want to share some their nuggets about Single Things during the rest of this “month of love.”

Do you think about your single friends on Valentines Day?  Do you have any single friends? Are you single? It’s been a little while since I was, so that’s why I asked my single gal pals to share their thoughts.

Single thoughts on Valentine’s Day

My Question:   “In your words, why is Valentines Day hard for a Single, and what can married women do (if anything) to make it better?”

“We all have that desire for romance, so it can be a hard time. Some refer to it as ‘SAD’ Day … Single Awareness Day.”

“Valentine’s Day is hard for some singles and ‘eh, no big deal’ to others.”  For category #1 people, she says that married people can’t help. For category #2 people, she says it’s a good day NOT to focus on what she doesn’t have in her life and to enjoy the day with friends. She points out that it’s not a day meant to make people feel badly or like it’s “Singles Awareness Day.”

“I’ve often asked friends who struggle with frustration and anger on this day, ‘What would YOU do on this day if you were dating someone?’ I’m left confused when they are no longer thinking of those that are in their precious situation … but they expect others to think of them now?”

“Valentines Day is hard for singles because it’s advertised for couples. Everything is geared towards buying something for someone else as a way to show you love them mostly in a romantic way. There isn’t a product that focuses on single women, so they just feel left out.”

“Married women can help by letting their single friend know they care. Buy them a chocolate heart and a card, but most importantly, encourage them to grow in their singleness.”

“The one thing that comes to mind about my favorite relationships with married friends is that they are RELAXED when I’m around … they treat me like I’m just part of their life.”

Those are good words to listen to from my single friends.

So what DO you have planned for Valentines Day?  Foot massage? Candles? A box of tissues and a new bag of Hershey’s Pot of Gold? Friend, God is the only perfect Love of our lives. He often shows us His tenderness through people around us, and if we cover ourselves in the Valentines Day Blues for whatever reason, we miss out on soaking up His tenderness through others and BEING His tenderness to others. Hallmark … here I come!  I have a card to buy for my man and for a couple of my single gal friends too.

Monday I want to tell you what all the single ladies (not Beyonce this time) said when I asked them, “What can married people do to be a good friend to a single woman?”

 So what do you think about this Single Thing? Is Valentines Day for singles? Would love to hear your thoughts.