It’s Marriage Monday, and I can’t help but think of the world where our kids are growing up, hoping to marry, and wanting to have families. Kids today get married in Steubenville.
Dear Sweet Daughter,
I’m so sorry you have to grow up in Steubenville. On the outside it appears so good, even “all American,” but at its heart, there is evil and danger. “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart” (Prov. 21:2). You won’t find the name of the city on the envelopes in our mailbox, but we all live in “Steubenville” today, a world where laughter answers crime and cruelty, where human life is treated like a toy without value.
The Attorney General of Ohio rightly said, ““This is not just a Steubenville problem; this is a nation-wide problem.” I would add that it’s a global problem, a mankind problem. If God chooses for you to marry, it’s in this world where you will search for a mate, entrust your life to each other, and raise a family. My heart is overwhelmed at the thought.
While a girl younger than you are was humiliated and helpless, teenagers who will one day lead families and communities and states and nations took pictures, sent tweets, and texted thoughts full of evil intent. You are growing up in a world where every one of your peers has a cell phone, yet it only took 13 cell phones to capture or send 4000 pieces of evidence of the sex crimes committed. The Father of Lies must have danced in hilarious delight while the victim downed a red slushie spiked with alcohol, gradually losing more and more of her discernment. As she lost her conscience and consciousness, the crowd gained energy and boldness, taking their aggression and abuse to new levels with each location. When onlookers called out the crime, labeling it “rape,” boys jeered and mocked. Music to the Enemy’s ears.
One of the perpetrators didn’t even recognize his assaulting behavior or that of others as rape; many people don’t even know good from evil. Ann Shoket, Editor-in-Chief of Seventeen magazine (You know, the one we don’t read) said, “This is just part of teen culture these days. What teens don’t understand is that there are real world consequences for their online behavior, that once it’s out there, you can’t take it back.” Interviewer Elizabeth Vargas of ABC’s 20/20 commented that you and your peers are growing up in “A pornified social media world,” a world where teenagers “no longer know where that line is between cool and crime.”
This isn’t the first time everyone did what was right in their own eyes, without conviction or concern for being clean. It’s an old story rewritten over and over, told by weeping mothers, hands-shaking fathers, and broken daughters. I want to give you some principles you need for living and maybe marrying in Steubenville.
10 Truths for Growing up in Steubenville
- God gave parents to protect and guide you; welcome their supervision.
- Only the Holy Spirit can be trusted to control you; any other substance leads to destruction.
- Let darkness be a warning to you; if people try to hide, you shouldn’t trust them.
- Someone who loves you will protect you and act for your good.
- The Enemy, Satan, will use whatever he can to damage and destroy you.
- When trusted friends offer counsel, heed it.
- Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and a treasure; treat it that way.
- A moment of pleasure may cost you a lifetime of pain.
- Arrogance in a man is a red flag to run the other way.
- You will need to know and follow God’s paths of truth to know peace.
You live in Steubenville, so you must shine your light. “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word” (Psalm 119:9). You can’t afford to be a lukewarm follower of God; you have to be alert and on guard. I can’t see the future or imagine what the world will be like if you should ever marry or have a teenage daughter or son. I only know sin has made our world what it is and one day God will make all things new and all things right, even in Steubenville. Until then, I will do the best thing a mother can do: Pray.
Hold fast and shine your light,
Mom
“Do all things without grumbling or disputing, 15 that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, 16 holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain.” Philippians 2:14-16
Praying for our children does work – it goes where we cannot. I sent a prayer out 3 to 15 years ago and this last week, it came back – it just left me wowed!
As a mother of sons – it is so important to be vigilant – with their media,their texting. Even if it means calling other parents, making peers mad. Instilling honor and nobleness, to stand up against wrong – there needs to be more of that.
This is a heart-breaking story – yet, God an redeem – praying for that.
Praying for that along with you, friend, and praying for God to raise up many more young men who will have that nobleness and honor woven into the fabric of their hearts. There will be much wrong to stand up for, and I am praying for our kids to be prepared.
Julie, thank you for this post. I am a counselor who works with a lot of teens and it’s heartbreaking what’s going on in our world and how it’s affecting them. We need to keep praying.
You are in the trenches, Rita. Thank you for walking alongside teens in such a critical time of life and in such a challenging culture. There’s so much to confuse and threaten and, as you said, break hearts. My two teens were part of a discussion at their school about the Ohio events, and some of the responses of other teens broke my heart all over again. Prayer is our greatest weapon. In that, we can have hope even in the face of pain like that in Steubenville. May God give you much wisdom and compassion as you counsel those He sends to you!