10 marriage moves for strong kids

It may be Marriage Monday, but I’m seeing most things through the lens of the graduation of our oldest child. She’s the one who first taught me what it is to be EXPECTANT about growing a family. I’m pretty late in even posting anything about marriage today, because I’ve just been doing some appreciating of the moments, some talking with the husband, some listening to the daughter, some farewells with the grandparents, some cleaning up of party things, and lots of reflecting …

Happy weekend? Oh, yes.  Sad weekend? Moments. I didn’t turn out to be a weepy mom, but maybe I’m saving up for when Jo packs the car and heads north to college! You’ll be one of the first to know.

The graduation of your child will turn your thoughts to your marriage, stirring up questions like: Did we spend enough time with our child? and  Did we model a godly marriage?   But graduation is an unarguable event that points to this fact:  We didn’t have children to keep them with us forever.

You know this verse like the spout of your water bottle:  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh,” (Genesis 2:24).  We raise our children to leave us; we marry to hold fast for life. 

In just a few short months, JoHanna will leave us.  Jeff and I will both cry our eyes out! And we will be full of joy. And then we will come home … together. (Jacob will be here , too, but not for long …) Maybe the best thing a mom can do isn’t be sure she has a great scrapbook to pass on, has the cutest grad party decorations, or cries on cue at the commencement.  Maybe the best thing a married mom can do today is to invest in her marriage.

10 Things you can do today to raise a strong graduate

1. When kids are little, find a babysitter and use them regularly.
2. In the moments when you have to “choose,” be loving, but choose your man.
3. Make your bed a place for the two of you, with few exceptions.
4. Stop making excuses for always including the kids.
5. Learn something about what your husband enjoys doing.
6. Out to eat? At church?  In the car? Sit by your man, without a little “wedge” between you.
7. Make your health and appearance a priority for HIM, not just for you or the kids.
8. Put some of that DIY energy into making your bedroom a special place.
9. Give your husband your attention (eye contact/touch/listen) after his/your work.
10. When you’re out walking, hold hands.

These are just a few practical steps you can take today. Your stronger marriage will help your kids grow into stronger adults who are ready to leave the nest when the day comes.

What would you add?