I was headed for the dressing room with a bundle of sweaters when I saw it. At first glance, it looked like any one of the heaps of discards I saw around the racks and stacks on the day after Black Friday. But closer inspection revealed two large hands gripping the handles of gum drop colored shopping bags. Leather shoes poked out from underneath a tan trench coat, where a head covered in hair the color of snicker-doodle cookies was bowed down. The heap beneath the edge of holiday blouses stirred as I approached, confirming my suspicion.

It was a husband.

Slumbering there as if left behind on an expedition gone wrong, the poor man had given up as his wife was lost in the black hole of shopping, and he crumpled to the floor in a heap. He was beautiful.

“Beautiful!?!?” you wonder.  Just two days after so many of us smiled at our husbands with purposeful gratitude, said we were thankful for our man, or served our loved one the finest fare, (Thanksgiving) we have to choose to put our grateful love into action. The haggard hubby I stumbled upon clearly pushed himself, suffered long, and persevered patiently out of regard for his wife. I was impressed by the nameless heap of husband on the floor. He challenged me to take my Thanksgiving spirit and live it through the most wonderful time of the year … Christmas.

“So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.  Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil,  correcting his opponents with gentleness.” (2 Timothy 2:22-25a)

In other words, when it comes to emotions of the holidays, it’s better to purse faith, love and peace, instead of petty priorities that lead to arguments with our spouse.  You know those petty moments:  putting up the Christmas tree, wrapping gifts, going to that party, making plans with those people … Instead of stirring up trouble, we can choose kindness to our mate, modeling peaceful behavior to those who watch (our kids, a store clerk, a younger woman?), patient with the irritating things, dealing with problems in a spirit of gentleness. 2 Timothy says this behavior befits those who are holy and serving the master of the house. A wife who follows Jesus Christ will act like it when the holidays put the squeeze on their relationship. If our gratitude on Thanksgiving was genuine, if our thanks was true, then our behavior to our spouse throughout the holiday season will express that grateful spirit. 

The husband heap reminded me how to show gratitude to my man over the holidays. It might not be an exhaustive list, but it’s a really good start.

7 Ways to show him gratitude this Christmas

1. Be willing to wait for your mate.
2. Set aside requirements for your own comfort.
3. Hold each other’s burdens sometimes.
4. Make the best of changes in plans.
5. Bow your head in humility.
6. Put your spouse’s joy before your own.
7. Choose to be quiet when you can complain.

You said it at  Thanksgiving, now show it during Christmas.

Are you ready to show gratitude to your man during the festive days ahead? There will be a moment (or two or three) when you want to complain or insist on getting your way, but if our thanks is true, it should be true at those moments too. Perhaps a grateful heart should show at the stressful moments most of all. Let’s make the holidays happy for the husband (or the patient heap) in our lives!