Just because you study your man, enjoy him, and release him to God’s work in his life, it doesn’t mean he’s going to be perfect. Sometimes he’s going to be flawed, really flawed, and you’re going to need to forgive him. But there are times when a man needs a woman to confront him.

Why he may need you to confront him

• You know him best
• You want his best
• You believe his best
• You help him best

Needing to be confronted doesn’t make him weaker. Being confronted can make him stronger. He may be living in sin or simply living in ignorance, but either failure leads to destruction. The guy you care for will experience that pain, and if you’re close enough to care, you probably will too. After all, “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.” (Proverbs 14:12) God may use you in your man’s life to confront him with the truth.

God wants the heart of your man. “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the heart,”  (Proverbs 21:2).  This means you need to speak your man’s heart language when confrontation is called for.  Since we know we’re not meant to be the Holy Spirit in our guy’s life, confrontation requires some basic essentials.

7 Essentials to confront him

1. Prayer – This ensures your heart is right & the Spirit leads you.
2. Humility – This must be the attitude behind your eyes, body language, and tone.
3. Privacy – Timing and setting speak volumes about your intentions.
4. Gentleness – Your choice of words and volume convey your true motive.
5. Honesty – Truth can be trusted and will confirm the reason for confrontation.
6. Respect – A God-directed woman will confront while being respectful.
7. Love – Without love, confrontation is just noise and assault.

When a woman speaks truthfully and guards the dignity of a man, he’s more likely to listen. Extreme words and extreme emotion tend to turn away his heart and his ear. In fact, “speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, (Ephesians 4:15) so that our conduct in confronting him gently opens the door to his heart.

If you confront him as if you’re a judge, he will defend himself. If you confront him as if you’re his supporter, he will thank you. This doesn’t mean he’ll embrace your confrontation right away. He may have layers of pride and self-protection to work through. He may have a hard shell to be chipped away, left there by wounds of days gone by … when confrontation was delivered as an all out attack.

We are not meant to fix the men in our lives, but sometimes God uses us to deliver well-intended words of truth and grace for their good.

Wondering if it’s time for you to confront him? Don’t fret, friend. God doesn’t want you to be in the dark, and He invites you to beg Him for wisdom and watch for His direction. Cling to this hope as you patiently, lovingly seek God’s plan to confront him. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (James 1:5)

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