When I taught first grade, I learned how to compliment a man. After all, a boy is a future-man and a man is a once-boy. To compliment is to express our admiration, praise or approval of someone. I’m sure you know the power of a sincere compliment in your own life. A well-timed, genuine compliment has the power to be the wind beneath our wings, the balm to our hurting soul, and the chocolate on our rainy day!

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” (Proverbs 16:24)

The little men in my classrooms instructed me in honeycomb words for their souls, and I’ve found that the principles have no age limit. So this is how to compliment a man, as learned in first grade and proven through the decades.

How to compliment a man

• A – Accomplishments
• B – Body
• C – Character
• D – Duty
• E – Effort

Accomplishments – A guy wants to be affirmed for what he achieves. This lets him know that he is noticed and appreciated. When a female recognizes and verbalizes appreciation for the accomplishments of the guy in her life (friend, son, dad, husband, co-worker), she reinforces his desire to work successfully. Women have the potential to applaud men as they fulfill their God-directed task of provision.

Body – Our men are born with a God designed instinct to want to be strong. Honeycomb words recognize a strong physique that is accepted as manly. On the contrary, words of sarcasm, joking, or negativity are crushing to the spirit. If you need to have an honest conversation about health, tread lightly so as not to smash your guy’s desire to have the body of a man.

Character – The world isn’t standing by to applaud the character of boys or men, no matter the place in our lives. Many cultures target men in jokes as the inept character. When we compliment the character of our guys, we let them know how much value we place on who they ARE, not just what they DO.  In a world that defines men by dollar signs, academic letters, and sports statistics, affirmation of a man’s character gives him the gift of a safe, accepting refuge in a world of competition.

Duty – Men have a heavy weight of duty given to them by God. It’s not easy to carry out your duty when economies are fragile, jobs are uncertain, and technology leaves us behind in a matter of months. Praise for the duty he carries will be that honeycomb he longs for. Compliment one duty, and you’ll find yourself motivating him to fulfill others. My classroom stayed clean and orderly, in large part, because of little boys who loved the adoring sound of my appreciation for their duty fulfilled.

Effort – Sometimes they try and it’s not enough, but even our guys need a safe place to be accepted. When they work hard, but can’t pass the test. When they keep applying, but can’t find a job. When they do family devotions, but a child rolls their eyes. When they teach a Sunday School lesson, and people fall asleep. When they train for a race, but come in at the end. When the applause they long for is just a quiet whisper, open your arms wide and genuinely, sincerely, praise the great effort of the great guy inside.

It’s not hard to compliment the guys in our lives. We know how it feels to receive precious words of sincere compliment.

Be genuine. Be generous.

His soul & bones are waiting. Give that pleasant honeycomb he longs for.