Depending on where you sit, Jeff and I aren’t really old, but we are getting older. In fact, my husband turned 48 yesterday. (I’m not far behind) It’s hard to think of him as “older” when he looks so young; he took Jacob on a 1 night, 12 mile backpacking trip up a steep mountain Friday night to celebrate their birthdays. I can’t exactly put a man like that in the “decrepit” category, but we’re getting older. Together.
Aging couples quitting
Age will make us long for our heavenly body. Aging couples will face change in their marriage. Can our relationships really thrive as we age? Countless couples reach midlife or empty nest and decide it’s too much work to get to know each other again. They want to wake up and roll over and see someone young … who makes them feel younger. Modern media has convinced many husbands and wives that to be wanted, attractive, and exciting is to be young. It’s the “new normal” to bail out and run from the reality of our years. But age and all it brings isn’t a reason to leave each other.
Aging couples & splendor
So much of what draws us together in our youth will fade. “The glory of young men is their strength,but the splendor of old men is their gray hair,” (Proverbs 20:29). As we experience life through the years together, our wisdom, purpose, perseverance, and shared life will sweeten the bond aging couples share. It certainly has for me and my splendid man, though I have more gray hair to show for it than he does!
Aging couples & fear
The Psalmist poured out the cry of his aging heart when we he prayed, “I have been as a portent to many,but you are my strong refuge.My mouth is filled with your praise,and with your glory all the day.Do not cast me off in the time of old age;forsake me not when my strength is spent,” (Psalm 71:7-9). A portent is a “special display of God’s power,” and I’m confident every wife who is a lover of God longs for her husband’s life to be such a display. Don’t you want a man whose mouth is filled praise?
The godly writer testifies of a life lived well, yet still begs not to be cast off as he is aging, not to be rejected when his youth turns to experience. Is he giving us insight into a fear men have that reaches beyond the centuries to all generations of testosterone filled fellas?
But let’s be honest. Women worry about being unlovely and unwanted as years leave fingerprints on our physical form. A man worries about being weak and without purpose. Does your man fear growing old with you? A wife has the power to affirm and accept her husband as his glory turns to gray.
Aging couples & aging well
I loved the young Jeff I married at the halfway point of his life thus far: age 24. But I love the wiser man now even more.
As we follow Christ, let’s age well. Let’s make this our shared prayer with the man we call “husband” who is getting better with age:
“So even to old age and gray hairs,O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation,your power to all those to come.” (Psalm 71:18)
What’s a challenge or piece of advice you have for aging couples in marriage? I’d love to hear from you about the changes ahead for us … retirement/empty nest/aging parents? What do you wish you knew?
