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Julie Sanders

Julie Sanders

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  • EXPECTANT – a New Mom’s Devotional

June 16, 2014 ·

A conversation about next gen relationships

Love· Marriage Monday· Next Generation· Relationships

Mondays are usually Marriage Mondays here on Come Have a Peace, but today we’re talking about how different it is for the next gen to find true love. I asked one of my next gen writers to share what we should know about relationships for young adults today. They’re falling in love in a a world of online dating, casual sex, experiments with courtship, and transgender relationships. Confusing! Hearing the heart of today’s guest reminds me of how much we need to be praying for them, modeling godly love, and supporting their healthy next gen relationships.


 

Talking about Next Gen Relationships

Our generation has vanquished the conventional definition of a relationship. We have, instead, introduced several new avenues of intimacy. “Friends with benefits,” “an open relationship,” “no strings attached,” and, “we just don’t want to label it.” These nebulous relationships run rampant throughout high school, college, and young adult culture. The media does nothing but glorify them, and they are becoming the norm rather than the exception. Many modern day couples are simply living together to “try it out” and avoid expensive marriage costs and seemingly inevitable divorce.

In a relationship where an easy exit is always present, the boy typically finds himself relatively, if not completely, unscathed. Many girls of today are pressured to “keep it casual” and are left with emotional scars, while they have given a guy exactly what he wanted. These relationships are poison, they are corrosive, and they are destroying the beauty of love.

I speak as a victim of a label-less relationship. Several label-less relationships, if I’m being honest, but one that was particularly painful. To me, he was perfect. We were going to different colleges, so we (he) decided to stay away from any sort of commitment. This way, we would never have to break up or have any sort of responsibility and at the end of the summer we could frolic along to our new lives without any sort of closure. We filled our days with blissful adventures and sappy couple-y goop, and pretended as if we weren’t doomed to be nothing. I gave him all of me, and then he was gone.

next gen relationships

“No strings attached” for the next gen

I don’t blame him for all my scars. I knew what I was doing, and I made countless mistakes. I lied to myself because I adored him, and said I was fine with just “keeping it casual.” I was a wreck, and I am still healing. As far as I know, he’s just fine.

It is invaluable for people of all generations to be aware of how dangerous “no strings attached” relationships are, because my story is so common. In Ephesians 5:31 Christ says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” God created marriage for His children to commit. Forever may seem scary, but that’s what God intended.

A label for the next gen

In every romantic connection that we seek, we should be mirroring the relationship our Father has with us. I am so thankful we worship a God who believes in labels! 1 John 3:1 says, “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!” We belong to God, and He is in it for the long haul!

 


Next gen relationshipsToday’s next gen writer is Hannah, a 19-year-old happy little girl from Knoxville, Tennessee. She attends Cedarville University and that feels very much like home. She is most content when laughing, watching old movies, reading poetry, exploring the Smokies, cuddling with her dog, wandering through art galleries, or drinking a grande blonde roast from Starbucks.

TWEET about this post >  What does the #NextGen say about #Relationships? http://wp.me/p2H4E4-1Dz From a victim of a label-less relationship. #FindingRealLove

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Previous Post: « The next gen on dads and Fathers Day
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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Lori Wildenberg says

    June 16, 2014 at 7:40 am

    Julie,
    Hannah’s post hits the nail on the head. Loots of wisdom from a 19 year old woman! I’m going to share this (on Tues) with the parents over at http://www.facebook.com/1Corinthians13Parenting so they can can share it with their young adults and older teens.

    • Julie Sanders says

      June 23, 2014 at 9:30 pm

      Thank you for sharing, Lori. YES, lots of wisdom! I’m finding myself so encouraged about the next gen!

Trackbacks

  1. The next gen & the Battle to be feminine - Come Have a Peace says:
    June 26, 2014 at 2:03 pm

    […] A conversation about next gen relationships […]

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Thanks so much for stopping in. I'm glad you're here. I believe we're meant to know peace in our lives, so I write about how to find it in our relationships and how to share it with others. I like to keep things sourced in God's truth and useful for life. May your moments here leave you with a little more peace for your days.

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Susan - Homeschool Mom, Foster Mom & Business Consultant, Mt. Juliet, TN

"Julie’s writings and teachings have been spiritual markers in my life. The deep knowledge of the Word she possesses, and they way in which she delivers it through her writing are deeply impactful. I would say that my favorite piece about Julie’s work is the way she speaks truth in love. She never waters down scripture to fit someone’s desires. And she does this with so much grace and compassion."
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Carla - Volunteer Coordinator, Harvest Church, Oswego, Illinois

"Through the years and seasons of life, Julie willingly follows God's open doors and trusts Him at times when some windows have closed. I have gratefully watched, learned and gathered courage for my own following. Whether speaking, writing, or just being present, Julie's grace, wit, interests and love draw others closer in to listen and follow her in step with His grace and mercy."
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Kristi - Women's Ministry Director, The Chapel in North Canton, Canton, OH

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