The car was quiet, and I didn’t mind. I just didn’t have the energy to go from thinking to sharing, and I could tell it was making Jeff uncomfortable. He ventured to ask, “Jul, what are you thinking?” He knew that I was far away, and he was reaching out to see if I would come in closer. When someone we love seems far away, we want to know if they’re discouraged and why. We want to know if they’ve gone to a valley. They want to help.
God can use those who love us to meet the deep valley-needs that emerge in hard places, but even those who love us can’t take the place of the Great Shepherd. Even in marriage, a husband can’t be God for his wife. “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. HE makes me lie down in green pastures. HE leads me beside still waters. HE restores my soul. HE leads me … ” (Psalm 23 ~ emphasis mine)
Even the greatest husband makes an inadequate God. To ask or expect a mate to be what only the Shepherd can be is to idolize someone who is but flesh and to set yourself up for disappointment. It would be asking our loved one to be something to us they are never meant to be.
What a spouse can do for a valley-walking mate
- Pray for her while she walks
- Turn her heart towards the Great Shepherd
- Wait with her for green pastures and restoration
- Allow God to lead without interference
- Serve her in tenderness
- Deliver supplies for needs
Download a printable version of these 6 ways to help a valley-walking mate. Printable includes scripture and prayer starters. (Download your printable: How to help a VALLEY-walking mate)
Because two become one in marriage, one can’t trek through a valley without impacting the other. If one walks through the shadow, they go together. Because we love another more than our self, we intentionally seek a way out of the valley instead of digging in and planning to stay where the sun doesn’t shine.
The Great Shepherd knows when we’ve gone to a valley, and He CAN help. He reaches out to lead us with tenderness toward restoration and recovery when we’re discouraged. And when we’re a two who became one, He takes the marriage by the hand and leads them as one. There’s no need to leave a spouse behind or be left behind. Together, husband and wife can follow the Shepherd up and out.
Julie, what a beautiful, simple message. It is full of wisdom for those walking through the valley’s. I love the simplicity of His Words as they minister to others. Not only the loving simplicity, but there is such truth and power in your post. Thanks for sharing!
You’re so welcome Barbara, and I’m glad it is encouraging. Sometimes the simplest truths are those we best hold on to in the valleys.