Other people could be ruining your rest. Maybe they already are and you’re not sure what to do. You may feel stuck. Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual rest aren’t bonus items for when our to do list is done and no one has a need; that day will never come. With understanding, we can take 5 steps to redeem the rest we really can’t do without.
A long flight is a good time to think. Our budget airline ticket meant we couldn’t choose our seats. It was no surprise when on our second flight we ended up in the back of the plane, in then middle two seats of the middle section. We were like the two pickles in a Chick fil A sandwich.
On an already long flight, it was going to feel like a longer flight. For the early days of coming out of Covid, the flight was surprisingly packed. Passengers just kept coming. Some looked bewildered and others euphoric during the boarding process that reminded me of school dismissal on the last day of second grade.
One flight attendant frequently interrupted the raucous process as she took it upon herself to reprimand travelers for their mask position. In the row behind me, the lady in 39D carried on a conversation with the lady in 39G, shouting across the seats like second graders on a playground. Despite my noise cancelling headphones, I heard about 39G’s menopause symptoms, her visit to see her son, her opinion of Los Angeles, and so much more. It was an overnight flight, but no rest was to be had. Sometimes people around us ruin our rest.
You don’t have to be on an airplane to experience interference from other people with your ability to rest. The deeper the connections go with the hearts of another, the more consumed we may be when concerned about their well-being or conflicted about our relationship. Our heart and mind may conspire together to hold us hostage to our burdens for people in our lives.
Rest is a lost cause when we approach it passively, with fingers crossed hoping people like 39G will recognize our need. Instead, we have to actively take every thought captive to what’s true, (2 Corinthians 10:5) so we make a place for rest. My hours in 38E weren’t the restful place I needed, but the need for rest didn’t go away.
Even loving intentions for legitimate needs can keep us pouring out, making it hard to step out of the fray. Can you think of a time when you kept giving, only to give some more? We aren’t meant to be self-sufficient super heroes who defy God’s design for our rest leading to our restoration. By accepting our limitations, we make room for God to meet our needs in His ways and to meet the needs of others in other ways. Our Shepherd wants to lead us beside still, calm water where He can feed our needs and restore our souls (Psalm 23:2).
When we refuse to make space for our own recovery from our work and our worries, we risk building up tangled emotions in bad need of an outlet. My friend Emily Scott of Renewed Hope Parenting reminds grown ups like me of the importance of managing our emotions. It’s not just good counsel for parents; it’s good counsel for all of us.
When people in seats around you ruin your rest, take these 5 redeeming steps:
- Speak truth about that person. We don’t want to add bitterness to weariness. 39G may lack self-awareness, but she wasn’t working to wreck me. Ask God to help you see and believe what’s true about others. Get to a place of truth. (Ephesians 4:25)
- Accept the momentary loss. Ask God to redeem your peace and rest, (Joel 2:25). Most of us can endure for a while, but we do need joy to come in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)
- Pour out your need to God. (Matthew 6:8) When you’re weary, ask Him to empower you to rise up with strength. (Isaiah 40:31)
- Put your burden on the Lord. Yes, it can be so hard when it’s so heavy. Who are you losing sleep over? (Psalm 55:22, Lamentations 2:19)
- Believe that God will never rest. He won’t lay down on the job, so you can, (Psalm 121:4). Trust Him enough to rest. (Philippians 4:6-7)
Not every flight is raucous. On our first flight, a handful of people sat scattered in a large, quiet plane cabin. The route was unfamiliar to most, so it was nearly empty. We had room to spread out, and everything about that leg of the journey was peaceful. The two of us slept soundly and awoke to a gentle landing. Maybe God allowed that period or rest, because the wild flight with 39G would follow. Or maybe He allowed it because of the hard things that kept me up at night the week before the flight and left me weary. Or maybe He provided that quiet flight just because He’s a good Father who intimately knows our need for rest and actively works for our good. He never rests, so we can.
