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Julie Sanders

Julie Sanders

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  • EXPECTANT – a New Mom’s Devotional

November 19, 2010 ·

Prayer Need & 10 LEAVING ?s

Marriage Encouragement· Relationships

Today is a combo. I want to think a little about knowing how we’re doing in the “leaving” category of marriage, but may I first just share a request for you to pray?

It seems like a long time ago that the Lord obviously began to put together our Women’s Ministry Holiday Event for this year. It’s been like a song, as He linked me with a very special speaker, added in ideas, mixed in opportunities, and then let it build.  TONIGHT is the big event, and it’s called a “Holiday Old to New.” I love 2 Cor. 5:17 that says, “if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”  That’s the message of the Bible, and it has changed my life. It’s the power behind Jesus’ call to “Come have a peace.”  

The Lord has sewn a sweet friendship in my life with Cindy Bultema of She Sparkles, and Cindy is here (in my hometown!) to share her story … God’s story … tonight! We’ll start with dinner together, and the tables are all decorated with mini Christmas trees that different women have made, using “old” things to make something “new.”  Then we’ll have a unique program that begins with a fashion show (put on by our own Sr. Pastor’s wife Sue); everything had to come from a consignment or thrift store. 😉  FUN!  I’ll be wearing a sweater I found Thursday for $2.85 and pants I bought for $10.  Love that! My shoes are hand me downs. Great!  It’s all about how something old can be transformed to new life!!! 

Then, Cindy will share her story of life Old to New.  Would you pray for God to do great things?  I really covet your prayers over this evening and again on Saturday morning.  Cindy will go with me and some of my gal pals from our church to Serenity Shelter. We get to share the same sweet story there. Please pray with us. I’ll share pictures next week.
———————————————————————————————————–
Now … how to know how you’re doing with the “leaving” part of marriage.  It can be a real sticky point in marriage around the holidays.  Each spouse wants to know they are #1 in their lover’s life, that nothing (even Mom or Dad or Aunt Ida) bumps them out of that prime place. There will be moments when a husband or a wife has to choose … and who will you choose?  So much depends on whether or not you live out your “leaving.” 

When God’s Word says “leaves his father and mother” it is using a word that means to leave behind, forsake, depart from, let alone.  Have you and your husband departed from your parents’ “old” role in your life to embrace their “new” role?

Genesis 2:23-25

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. 

Notice that leaving has to happen before a couple can live as “one flesh,” and the leaving does not result in a sense of shame. Leaving is what married people are mean to do.  It precedes the cleaving (next week).  Here are TEN questions to ask to help you know if you are living out your leaving:

– When I say “our family,” do I mean my husband and I?
– When I say “spending _________ at home,” whose home do I mean?
– Do I make decisions or commit our family to plans without talking to my spouse?
– Do I worry about or fear what my parents will think if we don’t choose their preference?
– When I have to “choose” a side, whose side do I choose?
– If I have great news or a burden, whom do I share with first?  Parent or spouse?
– Do I let differences/decisions with parents (mine or his) create distance between us?
– If I don’t see extended family for a holiday, do I feel “incomplete” or depressed?
– Do I make my spouse’s desires a priority during the holidays?
– Who do I shop for last? 

This might be a fun list to talk about with your spouse … over a Pumpkin Latte. 🙂  There are many ways you could answer these questions, and there are not always right or wrong answers, but they will get you thinking … and talking.  After this holiday event weekend, I think I’ll ask Jeff how he would answer.  (Are you out there reading today’s post, Honey?  🙂 I’m starting your shopping next week!)  

This weekend I hope you’ll make sure you’re living like you’re “leaving,” and I’ll appreciate your prayers for our Holiday Old to New.

Blessings, 

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Related

Previous Post: « Prayer Need & 10 LEAVING ?s
Next Post: Marriage Mondays ~ Glued Together »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Angela says

    November 21, 2010 at 3:13 pm

    Thanks so much for your posts this week. My husband and I both read them. They lead to some proactive conversations rather than reactive fights. What a blessing!

November 19, 2010 ·

Prayer Need & 10 LEAVING ?s

Marriage Encouragement· Relationships

Today is a combo. I want to think a little about knowing how we’re doing in the “leaving” category of marriage, but may I first just share a request for you to pray?

It seems like a long time ago that the Lord obviously began to put together our Women’s Ministry Holiday Event for this year. It’s been like a song, as He linked me with a very special speaker, added in ideas, mixed in opportunities, and then let it build.  TONIGHT is the big event, and it’s called a “Holiday Old to New.” I love 2 Cor. 5:17 that says, “if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”  That’s the message of the Bible, and it has changed my life. It’s the power behind Jesus’ call to “Come have a peace.”  

The Lord has sewn a sweet friendship in my life with Cindy Bultema of She Sparkles, and Cindy is here (in my hometown!) to share her story … God’s story … tonight! We’ll start with dinner together, and the tables are all decorated with mini Christmas trees that different women have made, using “old” things to make something “new.”  Then we’ll have a unique program that begins with a fashion show (put on by our own Sr. Pastor’s wife Sue); everything had to come from a consignment or thrift store. 😉  FUN!  I’ll be wearing a sweater I found Thursday for $2.85 and pants I bought for $10.  Love that! My shoes are hand me downs. Great!  It’s all about how something old can be transformed to new life!!! 

Then, Cindy will share her story of life Old to New.  Would you pray for God to do great things?  I really covet your prayers over this evening and again on Saturday morning.  Cindy will go with me and some of my gal pals from our church to Serenity Shelter. We get to share the same sweet story there. Please pray with us. I’ll share pictures next week.
———————————————————————————————————–
Now … how to know how you’re doing with the “leaving” part of marriage.  It can be a real sticky point in marriage around the holidays.  Each spouse wants to know they are #1 in their lover’s life, that nothing (even Mom or Dad or Aunt Ida) bumps them out of that prime place. There will be moments when a husband or a wife has to choose … and who will you choose?  So much depends on whether or not you live out your “leaving.” 

When God’s Word says “leaves his father and mother” it is using a word that means to leave behind, forsake, depart from, let alone.  Have you and your husband departed from your parents’ “old” role in your life to embrace their “new” role?

Genesis 2:23-25

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. 

Notice that leaving has to happen before a couple can live as “one flesh,” and the leaving does not result in a sense of shame. Leaving is what married people are mean to do.  It precedes the cleaving (next week).  Here are TEN questions to ask to help you know if you are living out your leaving:

– When I say “our family,” do I mean my husband and I?
– When I say “spending _________ at home,” whose home do I mean?
– Do I make decisions or commit our family to plans without talking to my spouse?
– Do I worry about or fear what my parents will think if we don’t choose their preference?
– When I have to “choose” a side, whose side do I choose?
– If I have great news or a burden, whom do I share with first?  Parent or spouse?
– Do I let differences/decisions with parents (mine or his) create distance between us?
– If I don’t see extended family for a holiday, do I feel “incomplete” or depressed?
– Do I make my spouse’s desires a priority during the holidays?
– Who do I shop for last? 

This might be a fun list to talk about with your spouse … over a Pumpkin Latte. 🙂  There are many ways you could answer these questions, and there are not always right or wrong answers, but they will get you thinking … and talking.  After this holiday event weekend, I think I’ll ask Jeff how he would answer.  (Are you out there reading today’s post, Honey?  🙂 I’m starting your shopping next week!)  

This weekend I hope you’ll make sure you’re living like you’re “leaving,” and I’ll appreciate your prayers for our Holiday Old to New.

Blessings, 

Share with a friend?

  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • More
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print

Related

Previous Post: « Holiday Pressures ~ What do YOU think?
Next Post: Prayer Need & 10 LEAVING ?s »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Angela says

    November 21, 2010 at 10:13 am

    Thanks so much for your posts this week. My husband and I both read them. They lead to some proactive conversations rather than reactive fights. What a blessing!

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Thanks so much for stopping in. I'm glad you're here. I believe we're meant to know peace in our lives, so I write about how to find it in our relationships and how to share it with others. I like to keep things sourced in God's truth and useful for life. May your moments here leave you with a little more peace for your days.

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"Julie’s writings and teachings have been spiritual markers in my life. The deep knowledge of the Word she possesses, and they way in which she delivers it through her writing are deeply impactful. I would say that my favorite piece about Julie’s work is the way she speaks truth in love. She never waters down scripture to fit someone’s desires. And she does this with so much grace and compassion."

Susan - Homeschool Mom, Foster Mom & Business Consultant, Mt. Juliet, TN

Julie Sanders, Author and Speaker
5
2019-09-08T18:00:00-04:00

Susan - Homeschool Mom, Foster Mom & Business Consultant, Mt. Juliet, TN

"Julie’s writings and teachings have been spiritual markers in my life. The deep knowledge of the Word she possesses, and they way in which she delivers it through her writing are deeply impactful. I would say that my favorite piece about Julie’s work is the way she speaks truth in love. She never waters down scripture to fit someone’s desires. And she does this with so much grace and compassion."
https://juliesanders.org/testimonials/susan/
"Through the years and seasons of life, Julie willingly follows God's open doors and trusts Him at times when some windows have closed. I have gratefully watched, learned and gathered courage for my own following. Whether speaking, writing, or just being present, Julie's grace, wit, interests and love draw others closer in to listen and follow her in step with His grace and mercy."

Carla - Volunteer Coordinator, Harvest Church, Oswego, Illinois

Julie Sanders, Author and Speaker
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2019-09-08T18:04:20-04:00

Carla - Volunteer Coordinator, Harvest Church, Oswego, Illinois

"Through the years and seasons of life, Julie willingly follows God's open doors and trusts Him at times when some windows have closed. I have gratefully watched, learned and gathered courage for my own following. Whether speaking, writing, or just being present, Julie's grace, wit, interests and love draw others closer in to listen and follow her in step with His grace and mercy."
https://juliesanders.org/testimonials/carla/
"Julie Sanders is uniquely gifted to speak the never-changing truth of God into the ever-changing lives of women. With authenticity and the confidence that grows from a journey of finding God faithful in every season, Julie calls women to find peace and comfort in Him alone."

Kristi - Women's Ministry Director, The Chapel in North Canton, Canton, OH

Julie Sanders, Author and Speaker
5
2019-09-13T21:32:41-04:00

Kristi - Women's Ministry Director, The Chapel in North Canton, Canton, OH

"Julie Sanders is uniquely gifted to speak the never-changing truth of God into the ever-changing lives of women. With authenticity and the confidence that grows from a journey of finding God faithful in every season, Julie calls women to find peace and comfort in Him alone."
https://juliesanders.org/testimonials/9175/
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