I’m not clueless. Really. I know some of you read my posts about how to uplift him, compliment and complement him, follow him and even kiss him … and you wonder if I only watch the Hallmark Channel. Some people probably unsubscribed or decided to “come back” when 28 Days About Him are over. (I HOPE they come back!) And then a few of you probably read Lindsey Bell’s encouragement to respect him, and you shook your head in resignation that this series just isn’t for you. But I’m not clueless.  Really.

I am well aware that sometimes all you can do is ENDURE him. Maybe it’s your father or your brother; maybe it’s your son or your boyfriend. If I only draw from my experience as a women’s ministry director for nearly a decade, I’ve prayed with and cried with and agonized with many women who are in a place of enduring.  More than a few times, I’ve been asked by desperate wives if God wants them to endure. I’m not talking about enduring abuse, physical or psychological, because that’s a whole different question. I’m talking about persevering through hard times. Yes, God wants that.

I am also well aware that sometimes all my guys can do is ENDURE me. Honest women recognize that sometimes others have to endure them too. Because of my human nature pushing against my new nature in Christ, I can be difficult. Especially when two people come together in a marriage, they’re bound to come up against hard times, or even hard seasons, where they have to persevere through the strain of blending two into one. Enduring relational challenges  allows us to love long enough to get through the hard to the sweet.

Because God has fixed His covenant love on us, His love endures when we are hard to love. It’s not just His attempt to stir up our worship; it’s His attempt to show us what love is.  He sets an example for us to follow so we know how to love others and display His glory as we love.  Psalm 118 and Psalm 136 remind us over and over that the Lord’s “steadfast love endures forever.” Simply put, when it’s authentic, love “endures all things,” (1 Corinthians 13:7).  

Even in a world of immediate satisfaction and quick responses, the best things take time. When we’re in relationship with a man who is so different than we are, there will be times for the longsuffering, patient, persevering nature of love to emerge and take hold.  To know, trust, and enjoy the men in our lives, we should expect to endure some awkwardness, misunderstanding, and hurt. It doesn’t mean he’s not worth it.

A starting place to endure

• Let’s not be so easily swayed or tempted to cut and run from our relationships.
• Let’s not make sweeping negative statements about what men are like.
• Let’s not try to be better “men” than the men we know.
• Let’s not go against God’s design and insist we don’t want or need guys in our lives.

God’s steadfast love endures us when we’re difficult, and He is glorified when we love like He does. Let’s endure the men in our lives and love them long enough to get through the hard to the sweet.

Are you in a hard place, friend? You’re not the first or only one. You won’t be the last. Your hard place doesn’t mean it’s time to come up with an exit strategy for the relationship. It might mean it’s time to get some help from a trusted counselor, pastor, mentor, or family member. It might mean it’s time to fall on your face in prayer and search God’s word for what His love looks like. It might mean it’s time to confront him. It might mean it’s time to uplift him with all your might. It might mean it’s time to set your face in determination against the hard things and decide you’re going to love that difficult man long enough to get to the sweet. You won’t be alone. The One who loves you will be with you.  Endure the man in your life and love him long enough to get through the hard to the sweet.