I’m so glad to welcome a friend as a guest today. Lindsey and I are teammates. We came together as lovers of God’s word and writers with the Do Not Depart team and as kindred moms on The MOM Initiative team. Lindsey and I share a variety of things in common, not the least of which is our heart to figure out how to be Christian women who treat men well. Lindsey just released her book Searching for Sanity: 52 Insights from Parents of the Bible. What a great time to invite her to share what God has impressed on her heart about how to live with “the him” in her life!
When I first married my husband Keith (10 years ago), I expected him to be the spiritual leader of our home. In and of itself, this isn’t a bad thing. The problem, though, was that I thought I knew exactly what a spiritual leader looked like (and this picture happened to be different than the man my husband was).
I placed unrealistic expectations on Keith and then at times made him feel “less than” when he didn’t live up. My husband is a godly man, but he’s not perfect. The more I pushed him to become what I thought he needed to be, the more he felt disrespected.
I finally learned it’s not my job as his wife to make him into the man I want him to be; it’s my job to respect him as the man he already is.
Here are a few ways I have finally learned to do this…
Practical Ways Women Can Respect Their Men:
1. RESPECT: Refuse to talk badly about him to others.
When I get together with my friends, I refuse to bash my husband. Are there times when I share struggles? Sure. But I don’t do this in such a way that it encourages husband-bashing. I do it in such a way that it encourages counsel and positive change on my part.
One of the best ways to show your husband you respect him is by talking positively about him in public.
2. RESPECT: Build him up with your words.
Our husbands need to know we believe in them. They need to know we trust them to make good decisions. They need to know we need them.
At times, it’s tempting for us women to get so caught up in running our homes and doing our own thing that our husbands feel left out. It’s our job to make sure they know exactly how vital they are to our families.
3. RESPECT: Watch your tone, especially in disagreements.
I don’t struggle with yelling as much as I struggle with sarcasm and angry tones. What I have to constantly remind myself is that my tone can damage him just as his yelling can damage me.
4. RESPECT: Show him!
In the book, Love and Respect (a great marriage book, by the way), Dr. Emerson Eggerichs reminds women that just as we need love regardless of how we are acting, men need respect.
It’s easy at times to think, “I’ll respect him once he earns it…once he starts acting in such a way that calls for it.” That’s not how it works.
Our men need our respect, just as we need their love.
So let’s talk: What other ways can we show our husbands we respect them? Leave a comment to be entered to win a gift card from Lindsey for her blog tour contest!
This post is part of a Lindsey’s blog tour for Searching for Sanity, her new parenting devotional. You can read other posts in this tour by going to her blog: www.lindsey-bell.com.
About Lindsey Bell:
Lindsey Bell is the author of Searching for Sanity, a new parenting devotional. She’s also a stay-at-home mother of two, minister’s wife, avid reader, and chocolate lover. You can find Lindsey online at any of the following locations:
Her blog: www.lindsey-bell.com
Her website: www.lindseymbell.com
Twitter: www.twitter.com/LindseyMBell
Facebook: www.facebook.com/AuthorLindseyBell
Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/LindseyMBell01
About Searching for Sanity:
Have you ever looked at your beloved children and wondered, what in the world am I doing? Why did God trust me—of all people—to raise them?
Motherhood is the most difficult job many of us will ever take. Searching for Sanity offers moms an opportunity to take a breath, dig into the Word, and learn from parents of the past. In short devotions designed for busy moms, this book uses the parents of the Bible—both the good and the bad—to inspire today’s mothers.
Thanks so much for having me on your blog, Julie! I am thrilled to be here:)
Love having you here Lindsey. You share some really tangible ways to make our marriages stronger by respecting our guys!
I too struggle with “sarcasm & angry tones”. We must remember that harsh words do not get us what we want. They actually weaken our marriage. It is so important to exercise control.
So true. We can fall into using words we feel will get results, but they actually hurt. I so need the Holy Spirit if I’m to have that self-control.
So very true. It’s so easy to think if we speak more seriously (aka louder or more sarcastic) that we’ll get what we want…but that usually just makes things worse.