Strange People and How to Live Together

When was the last time you looked at someone who’s different than you and thought, “People are so strange”? I sat at the end of a long pine table with a latte in my hand, tapping a pen on a pad of paper for jotting down jot-worthy things. It was mostly empty.

He came shuffling in, toting an unkempt, overstuffed pack and leaning it against his leg. He unfolded a sandwich of curled papers and pulled out a pencil nub. He didn’t order anything, but he jotted many things, and his paper sandwich was full. At first, I thought, “That’s different.” My first thought was quickly pushed out by my second thought—“He’s so strange.”

There are only a few moments between seeing what’s different and judging others “so strange.”

Strange People, Different People

Like most people, I grew up thinking my family’s way of being was the “normal” way to be. Other families had a funny smell in their house and a weird way to make grilled cheese sandwiches. Multiple moves, many travels, and more than a few decades have instructed me. What we wear, how we use our chins, how we slurp, how we laugh, how we sit, what we ask, what we hope for, what we fear—it all makes us different. Everyone is different to someone else.

Our infinite variety of differences reflects the infinite nature of the God who created us. Strange people aren’t so strange after all.

It’s rather human to go beyond seeing differences to judging someone “so strange.” Without even being aware of the shift, we make a personal decision about how close to normal behavior is. Try saying “That’s so strange,” or “She’s so strange,” and your face does involuntarily does something different. Our heart and mind take over and make the expression. Our face exposes the hard truth when we move from accepting to judging.

Ironically, judging others is the strange thing. Since God makes us each unique and works to grow us throughout all our days, He is the only one who can judge. “So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another,” (Romans 14: 12, 13a). Judgment creates division, leading to the death of good things like unity, empathy, compassion, kindness, and forgiveness.

Accepting Our Own Differences

But how about that girl in the mirror? The one who looks different today than she did a few decades ago? When you look in the mirror, do you ever shift from seeing that she’s “different” today or this year and begin telling yourself, “She’s so strange”?

God reserves the right to approve of her too—you and me. He doesn’t think she’s so strange, any more than He wrinkles His divine brow in disgust at the man writing furiously on the sandwich of papers. No, to the Holy One who makes us, we are lovely, and He longs to draw each unique one close to Himself. We pray for eyes to see differences with wonder, without moving to a heart posture that judges others so strange.

“You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Romans 13:9b)

Yes, we are so different, but we are not judged by God to be so strange. He wants us to love one another as we value and love ourselves. “So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” (Romans 14:19)

How to Live With Others Who are Different

To live peacefully with others, I need to focus my sight through a lens of faith. I have to prayerfully ask God to teach me not to see strange people but to see people He made. The Apostle Paul said this focus is the intersection of righteousness, peace, and joy. “For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 14:17)

Most “strange things” that catch our eye and create walls of judgment don’t matter in God’s economy. Righteousness, peace, and joy in Him matter most. That’s worth jotting down.

Dear God,

I’m so glad that when You look at me You look with love. You never wrinkle Your nose in disgust or disapproval to say, “So strange.” When I see differences in people around me, nudge me to stop from judging. Whether it’s a relative or a neighbor or a colleague or a church member, help me see who You see.

Amen